


Things change with Time

by YuriIsMyJam



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Girls Kissing, Girls Love, Hugs, I suck at tags, Just bear with my bad writing skills, Minor Violence, Poems of Course, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:59:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuriIsMyJam/pseuds/YuriIsMyJam
Summary: Natsuki and Yuri's bond deepens with every day. Soon both of them start to realize they feel something a little more than friendship towards each other. Who will take the first move? Will their feelings keep unspoken?





	1. A day, quite different from any other

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I'm glad you decided to check this fanfic out. I haven't written in DECADES, but I will give my best on this one! I'm trying to update every 2-3 days.  
> So enjoy ^^

The bell for the last period rang. School was over for everyone, except for those who have club activities. As she packed her things, Yuri headed to the literature clubroom. It wasn't long before she reached it and was greeted with a really familiar scene. 

 _\- MONIKA!_  - a pink haired girl shouted. _\- How many times have I told you to put my manga in the right place?! Are you deaf or something?_

 _\- I-I'm sorry Natsuki. Please calm down._  

_\- How many times have you apologized already and things haven't changed?!_

_\- I -_

_\- Natsuki, rude and disrespectful as always._  - the purple haired girl finally spoke after putting her bag on one of the chairs. 

 _\- Ngh!_  - the girl grunted and twitched at the comment.  _\- Don't butt in in my stuff! This talk is between me and Monika. I don't need your smart talk!_

 _\- GUYS!_ \- a peach colored short girl almost screamed at the top of her lungs.  _\- Please, stop arguing! We are having this almost every day! Aren't you sick of it? We should be laughing and smiling together, not grabbing each other by the neck and trying to strangle one another! And-_  

The girl stopped to catch her breath. She was as red as the ribbon on her uniform. With a sigh, Monika said: 

_\- You are right Sayori. We should be all happy in this club. Apparently, I'm doing an awful job at being a president. Natsuki, I'm sorry for not putting your manga back in the right place. I won't touch it anymore._

Taken aback by her words, Natsuki turned her head to the side and looked at the ground.

_\- It's okay. I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of it. I just, don't like it when people touch my stuff. I'm sorry for being so pissed._

_\- I also want to apologize. I didn't intend to 'butt in' in your conversation, but I feel the same way Sayori does. I can't stand to see each other fight. I didn't mean to say you were rude and disrespectful Natsuki. Please forgive me._  - Yuri spoke, playing with her hair nervously, also looking at the ground. There was a moment of silence.

 _\- You guys!_  - Sayori charged forward to the girls and pulled them all in one big group hug.  _\- I'm happy you all apologized. I also want to say sorry for screaming. I just exploded with negative feelings I guess._  

All three other girls in union said:

_\- It's okay, we forgive you._

After the hug all of them returned to their usual club activities - Yuri lost herself in the world of books, Natsuki reread her manga, Sayori decided to do her homework this time and Monika was arranging some paperwork. 

Around thirty minutes passed like this when Monika happily announced that it's time to share poems.The girls sat in front of each other on one of the desks. Sayori started first. Her poem was about the happiness that the future holds. She always looked cheerful and happy, but she must have her own inner demons. Everyone does. Next was Monika's. It was as colorful and filled with words and expressiveness as always. As Yuri's turn came, she took a deep breath and begun.

**' Tables have turned.**

**The swords have been dropped.**

**A white flag with burned edges is raised.**

**Now it all seems different.**

**Now it all feels different.**

**It is different.**

**When did it turn out like this?**

**Will it be long before the war begins again?**

**Are those feelings with a human face real?'**

Everyone was impressed by her writing skills as always - her unusual use of words and phrases, yet the meaning is so simple and easy to figure out.Natsuki's poem was the final for the day. She cleared her throat and with confidence started to read her poem aloud. 

**'She was imprisoned.**

**She wanted to run away.**

**She had to run away.**

**It wall was pointless though.**

**She finally ran out.**

**But the unknown scared her.**

**It was too late to go back.**

**She tried to find someone to run to.**

**Will she ever find them?'**  

At that, everyone clapped. Natsuki frowned.

_\- What's that supposed to mean? Did you not thought I could write a poem like this? I can do more than just read cute manga and other cute stuff you know..._

_\- No, it's not that! We didn't mean to offend you! We just liked it so much that we acted like an audience watching a good show would - clapping, overwhelmed with emotion._  - Yuri said. The other two nodded.  _\- I especially like it a lot..._

 _\- W-well... Thank you...- I MEAN of course you would like it. I'm awesome at writing poems so... -_ Natsuki tried to keep her usual character, but her bright cheeks and stumbling over words showed how delighted she actually was. Yuri giggled quietly to herself.

Sayori stretched her arms and yawned. It was clear she was getting tired. The sun was slowly setting down too. The girls decided it's time to finish today's meeting. Today was Yuri's turn to clean up the room. She said her goodbyes to the other girls and headed to the closet.

 _\- Hey, I wanna help._  - a voice said from behind, startling her.

_\- O-oh, I thought you left with everyone else. It's okay, today's my turn to clean the room so-_

_\- If I say I want to help I **will**  help._ - the girl demanded and started to put the desks and chairs at their respective places. Yuri parted her lips in an attempt to say something but decided that leaving the girl do what she wants was the best option.After around twelve minutes they were ready with cleaning the whole room. Both girls sighed in relief. 

Natsuki was waiting for Yuri to grab her bag at the door. As they were going down the stairs Yuri decided to break the silence, which was surprisingly comfortable. 

_\- Um, thank you for helping me clean the club room. I know that you always tend to leave first for personal reasons, that's why I was surprised when you stayed. It wasn't that I didn't want you around, it's nothing like this!_

_\- Nah, it's okay. I had a little time to spare today._

_\- Oh, I see._

Both of them parted ways and went home. Before going to sleep, Yuri thought about how different Natsuki acted today. Sure, not the whole day but her staying to help Yuri with cleaning was really kind. It made Yuri feel less on edge when talking to the girl. Usually, they were always in an argument and tried to prove the other wrong. 

It was because they were so different. 

Even if the club and literature were the only things they had in common, it still created an invincible bond between them. Like a small bridge that connected them at thought and heart.Thinking this much made Yuri a little tired. As she closed her eyes, her body relaxed under the covers and soon she was in her own reality.


	2. A late night text

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time moves fast in the club room. Without realizing it's already too late. Finding peace is hard for Natsuki, but tonight she has finally found it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written the second chapter. Yay, I guess?? This one is a little longer than the previous one.  
> Enjoy! ^^

The alarm clock rang. It was still dark outside. Without giving it a second thought Natsuki jumped out of bed and hurried to the closet. She put on her uniform as fast as possible. Grabbing her bag, the girl quietly went downstairs to grab a small lunch box. Putting her shoes on, she opened the door and rushed to school. As usual, she was an hour earlier.

The rest of the school day was boring. Natsuki fell asleep in some of the classes. She couldn't wait for afterschool activities. She wanted to visit her favorite place in the world - the club room. Only there she felt safe. She wanted to see everyone else. Especially Yuri. Natsuki has always liked her poems. She never really admitted it though. It was too embarrassing. She almost never talked about anything with the purple haired girl, except when they were fighting over minor things. ' _I wonder if we have anything to talk about..._ ' she thought.Blinking a few minutes into the distance, she came back to reality.

The classroom was already empty. Natsuki lifted her head up from the desk. Walking out of the classroom she saw Yuri. The girl was waiting for her. Natsuki lifted one brow up in a questioning look, waiting for Yuri to say something.

_-I passed by to say thank you once again. For yesterday._

_\- I already told you it's not a big deal... But you are welcome._  - the shorter one responded. After a moment of silence, she spoke again.  _\- Wanna go to the club now?_

Yuri just nodded. Arriving at the club room they saw Sayori and Monika both intensely writing something on sheets of paper. They didn't notice the girls coming in and just continued to mumble something to one another. Natsuki frowned and said:

- _What are you two doing? Are you participating in some speed writing competition or something?_

Sayori's head perked up to smile at the girl.

_\- Oh, no, it's not that. We are writing ideas for the school festival!_

_\- Isn't it kind of early for that? I mean we still have a week._

_\- You know me, I'm an airhead...So I must write down my ideas. Otherwise, I will forget them._

Natsuki rolled her eyes and went to the closet. She picked up a random volume of 'Parfait Girls' and flipped through the pages. In the chapter she was reading, Minori tried to confess her feelings to the boy she likes through a love letter. After school, she slipped it in the boy's locker. The next day it appears that she put it in the wrong locker. _'She is always so unlucky... I would go to the person and tell them face to face.'_  Natsuki thought to herself. But deep inside she knew she wouldn't be able to. She was scared of being rejected.

Once again it was time to share poems. As the girls sat around one of the desks, Natsuki opened her bag and proudly announced:

_\- Today I have made each one of you a special cupcake!_

As she said that, she lifted the lid of the box and revealed four cupcakes with different icing colors - brown, red, pink and purple. She gave each of the girls their respective cupcake, according to the color of their hair. Monika's was the brown one which was chocolate, Sayori's was the red one with peach, Natsuki's was the strawberry pink one and Yuri's was the purple blueberry one. The girls stared at their cupcakes in delight.

_\- What are you staring at? Aren't you going to at least try them?_

_\- O-oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't bring myself to. They are too beautiful and the fact that you put such effort and thought into it... I don't feel like ruining it!_ \- Yuri spoke, playing with her hair, blushing a little. The other two girls nodded in agreement. Natsuki's cheeks were as pink as the icing on her own cupcake. Hearing these words from Yuri specifically made her feel happy and warm on the inside.

_\- T-thank you... I went through a lot of trouble to make them you know, so make sure you eat them!_

Without a second thought, the girls grabbed the small dessert and each took a bite, followed by a sound that said 'Delicious!'. A small smile appeared on Natsuki's face. Soon there was a loud gasp, coming from Yuri.

_\- I-I'm so sorry! If I knew on time I could've made tea! Still, if any of you have interest, I could make some..._

- _I wouldn't mind. Do you have anything sweet?_  - Natsuki didn't mean to say that, but she did. Yuri looked at the girl in disbelief for a moment before walking to the closet. Natsuki decided to follow her. As the taller girl opened one big box she explained:

_\- Some types of Oolong and Black tea have a sweet taste. I'm sorry these are the only ones I have. Everything else is either bitter or doesn't have a taste at all. If you would like I will give you honey or sugar to sweeten it._

- _No, I prefer it natural, if that's what you would call it._

_\- Then which one would you like?_

_\- Black tea._

Yuri just smiled, grabbed the pot and went outside to fill water. Not long after, two cups of tea were served on the desk. Monika clapped her hands together and it was time for sharing poems. Her poem was about the depth and mystery of the ocean. Sayori's was about how fluffy animals are. Yuri took a sip of her tea and began:

 **' Pink.**  
**Bright pink with hints of red.**  
**Carefully combed.**  
**I want to touch it.**  
**It looks nice.**  
**I stretch my hand.**  
**It's scared.**  
**It won't let me.**  
**It doesn't trust me yet.**  
**I guess..** \- The girl's voice faded away. Natsuki took a glance at the clock and almost dropped her cup in shock. With trembling hands, she tried to put the cup on the table but it slipped and shattered on the ground, spilling the liquid on the floor. Yuri stopped in mid-sentence. Everyone looked in Natsuki's direction. They were saying something. But Natsuki couldn't hear them. All she could hear was the sound of screaming. Not paying attention to anything, she got up, grabbed her back and with all possible speed ran out of the room leaving behind confused and worried friends.

For some reason, the pink haired girl thought she would get home faster if she ran. Her heart was racing, her legs hurt, her pants were loud, her face was red, her head was spinning and the feeling of fainting was haunting her. But she couldn't afford to stop and rest even for a minute. Natsuki continued to run in the direction of her house. For a moment her vision got blurry. Tears. They were slowly rolling down her cheeks.  _'He is going to kill me, he is going to kill me, he is going to kill me, he is going to kill me-'_ these words played in her head like a broken record. She could already picture it. Again. The pain from old times was coming to her again. She didn't want to go home. She wanted to run away. Natsuki was more scared of him finding her manga than being late. A thought crossed her mind  _'What if I...don't go home...what if I stay on the street...will he care enough to come and look for me? Probably not. Even if he did he would definitely kill me.'_  
Natsuki was already at the front door. She covered her mouth with her hand and listened carefully. The TV was on. He was home. She was considering climbing to her room with the wooden ladder.  _'But what if he is inside my room? I did this once, I don't think it will work twice... I will try to put on my act as best as possible.'_  She took a deep breath and entered through the door.

_\- Dad, I'm home! I'm sorry if I'm a little late. The bus didn't come on time so I had to-_

A fist made contact with her face, cutting her mid-sentence. The impact made her lose balance. She was very tired from running and fell on the floor. Natsuki couldn't find any strength to stand up, protect herself or even run upstairs and lock the door. She just closed her eyes and fell into darkness.

When her eyes opened again the girl found herself where she had fainted. Her body was aching with pain. The bruise on her face was swollen. Natsuki tried to get up but her legs were trembling, almost shaking violently. Both from fear and pain. It was dark outside. She couldn't see anything. But she could hear her father's loud and steady breathing. It was so close, Natsuki almost lost her mind at the thought of getting beaten again. Soon she realized he was asleep. After regaining her balance the girl silently went upstairs to get a few things. She turned on her phone and send a text to Yuri saying  **[Hey, it's kind of late but can you tell me your address?]**. Exiting the house she waited for the other girl to answer. After around ten minutes her phone vibrated. A text from Yuri, with her location. Natsuki was surprised the girl didn't ask her why. With a quick pace, she headed towards the said location.

Arriving there she knocked on the door, which opened immediately, revealing a purple haired beauty in her nightgown.

 _\- Hi..._  - the short girl mumbled.

 _\- Natsuki! What happened to you?!_  - the taller one almost whispered, covering her mouth in shock.

_\- A lot of things... Can I...come in?_

_\- Of course! Sit on the sofa I will bring you some ice._ \- as she said that the door closed shut. Natsuki took off her shoes and sat down. She has never seen Yuri's house before. It was... plain. Excluding the big shelves filled with books. Soon Yuri came back with a cloth and ice inside. She gently pressed it against Natsuki's cheek, who hissed at the pain but managed to endure it. None of them said a word. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Yuri decided to speak up first.

_\- So... What happened? It's fine if you don't want to tell me... I'm just worried. I have been ever since you left the club like this without a warning._

_\- Yeah, I'm sorry about that. And... Well... My dad... He wants me home at a specific time. I was really late today and he.. hit me. He does this whenever he finds my manga or other cute stuff and says that I have to grow up._  - while Natsuki explained that, she didn't notice herself starting at Yuri's cuts on her wrist. As if noticing her gaze, Yuri hid it behind her back.  _\- It's okay. You don't have to hide them._

_\- But they are... disturbing and disgusting to look at._

_\- No, they are not. It's okay._

_\- I-if you say so..._

Yuri removed the cloth from Natsuki's face and placed it on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

_\- I'm sorry for this happening to you. I can't imagine how much you have been through. It must have hurt a lot. You should stay the night. I'm guessing this is why you came here._

Natsuki just nodded, staring at the coffee table. Soon, she felt arms around her shoulders, gently pulling her into something like a hug. Not exactly a hug, but close enough. Now that she thought about it, Natsuki was never hugged and neither has she ever hugged someone. It felt...comfortable.

Soon, Yuri released Natsuki, got up and went to the bedroom, Natsuki following her. Yuri handed her a T-shirt and sweatpants. They were twice Natsuki's size so she looked a little funny. Crawling under the covers she sighed, burying her head in the pillow. The bed felt cozy. Yuri turned off the lights, drowning the room in darkness. She took a few steps to her desk and separated the curtains on her window, letting in moonlight in the room. Natsuki peeked from under the covers to look at the girl. Her silhouette was illuminated by the light. She was staring out the window. Her gaze was searching for something. Soon she got in bed where Natsuki was.

_\- I'm sorry I don't have a spare blanket so-_

_\- It's okay... 'I like it here'_  - the last sentence she kept to herself. After a few minutes, Natsuki spoke again. - _Thank you...For everything..._

Yuri didn't respond. She just looked at the other girl with warm eyes.

_\- Goodnight, Natsuki._

_\- Goodnight._

Yuri's slow breathing was soothing. Natsuki caught herself sliding a little closer to her. Soon she was already in the dream world.

All alone.

But at least she was in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for today lads! If you liked it, please leave a Kudo and if you have any suggestions, let me know! The same goes about mistakes in my writing! I take criticism well, so don't be afraid to tell me.  
> I hope you await the next one, and for now I'm going to bed as well~  
> Peace out.


	3. A nice view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri never really paid attention to the sky. But today Natsuki taught her to. It's Friday - which means the festival is right around the corner and the literature club has come up with some interesting ideas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here with an update again! I tend to update every 2-3 days. Also, I really wanted to show you a picture I took a while ago of the sunset in my town, but I don't know how to post it here, so here is a link to Wattpad where I'm posting this fanfic as well, so you can go and see the picture - >https://www.wattpad.com/523378937-yuri-x-natsuki-fanfic-~chapter-three~-yuri<

Yuri couldn't sleep last night. The events that occurred kept her mind busy with thoughts.  _'At least Natsuki got some sleep. She really needed it_ _.'_.  
Lifting herself from the bed Yuri made her way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Not long after, she heard the other girl's footsteps coming towards her.

 _\- It smells amazing! Whatcha cooking?_ \- she seemed in a better mood.

_\- Oh, good morning, Natsuki. Are you feeling better?_

_\- Yes. Thank you for letting me stay._

_\- I'm glad I was able to help you. Whenever you need me for something don't be afraid to ask._

_\- ...thank you._

_\- Are scrambled eggs okay with you?_

_\- Perfect!_

Yuri chuckled. Soon they were all dressed in their uniforms, bags on shoulder, fresh and good to go. Exiting the door the pink haired girl ran enthusiastically in place.

 _\- C'mon Yuri let's go!_  - grabbing the taller girl's hand she started running in the direction of the school.

_\- Wait, Natsuki! We still have time -_

_\- But I want to show you something!_

After a few minutes of running, Natsuki still holding Yuri's wrist they arrived at the back of the school building. There were a few Cherry blossom trees. Yuri has never really seen them. She didn't even know there were trees behind the school. Mostly because she never really went behind the school.

_\- What are we doing here? Classes should be starting soon and -_

_\- I don't care, I want to show you!_ \- snapping back at her unintentionally Natsuki dropped her bag on the ground near one of the trees and started climbing up the branches. When she was sitting on the highest branch, she made Yuri a sign with her hand to come up to her. Yuri looked at her with disbelief and worry. She was scared of the girl falling down on the ground any moment. Letting out a sigh, the purple haired girl slowly climbed up. She had never really done it before so it was quite hard. But when she finally reached where Natsuki was, all the thoughts from her head vanished. The view was breathtaking. The tree wasn't that high, but high enough to see most of the town. There were already people running to school or simply jogging early in the morning. Houses and apartment buildings could be seen. Through some of the windows, people were having a chat, breakfast or doing work on their computers. A small part of the near park was visible too. Your typical small town. Nothing special to most people. But for Yuri seeing it like this was different. She never really thought the place she lived in could look this way. The sun rays were painting the whole picture different shades of red, orange and yellow. Happy and warm colors. They made Yuri warm on the inside too. Time and classes didn't exist for her in this moment. Having Natsuki next to her and this scenery in front was perfect. She wondered how the town would look like when the sun was setting down.

_\- Natsuki..._

_\- Yes?_

_\- Can we come here again... After school?_

_\- You like the view, don't you?_

_\- It's beautiful._

Yuri didn't take her eyes off the view but she could feel Natsuki's smile. The smaller girl shifted a little closer.

_\- Should we go now?_

_\- Yes._

Both got on the ground safe and headed to their classrooms.

Lessons were over and excitement entered Yuri's body. It was Friday, which meant the festival was right around the corner. She didn't know what Monika prepared, but she definitely knew it was something amazing. Monika never failed to come up with interesting ideas and impress people. She was very confident too. Somehow, Yuri admired and looked up to her. Exiting the classroom she found Natsuki leaning on the wall in front of her, grinning happily. She assumed the girl was waiting for her to go to the club together. As they were walking, Yuri thought to herself  _'We've become really close over such a short period of time... I'm glad. I always wanted to know what kind of Natsuki actually was. I guess she finally decided to open up to me...'_  while thinking her gaze slowly drifted towards Natsuki's face to look at her, forgetting she was going up the stairs. Her leg stumbled over the other one and she fell on the ground, unconsciously grabbing Natsuki by the hand. A short and loud 'Woah' came out as Natsuki fell on top of the other girl, practically plopping on her chest. Sounds of pain and quiet hissing were let out. As both of them came to their senses, they were almost face to face. Realising where she landed, Natsuki immediately got up and tried to figure out what to say while offering the other girl a hand. Stunned by the situation as well, Yuri didn't know what else to do except take the hand and stand up. She rubbed her back which ached with pain. The pink haired girl tried to explain herself, but her words were all over the place.

_\- I-I'm very very sorry I didn't mean to do that I just-It-_

_\- It's okay I grabbed you by the hand. It was an impulsive reaction. It's my fault..._

Yuri somehow managed to keep her voice straight and words connected in a sentence. Though her face was screaming with embarrassment. The same could be said about Natsuki. The rest of the way Yuri stared at her feet and watched where she was going. Swinging the door to the club open, the girls found Monika and Sayori proudly standing a few feet away from the doorway with the lights off. Natsuki lifted one brow up in questioning look.

_\- Um...Hi... What are you guys doing?_

_\- We have -_

_\- Come up -_

_\- With the best -_

_\- Festival ideas -_

_\- EVER!_  - the girls were finishing each other's sentences in perfect sync. They probably practiced while the other two were coming.

_\- I see... So what did you come up with?_

Monika guided Natsuki and Yuri to the very first row of desks and asked them to sit down. They looked at each other in confusion but kept quiet. The chalkboard was covered with a white blanket. On the teacher's desk were placed a few candles to light up the area. Sayori slowly removed the blanket, revealing what was written on the board - four columns, in each a small portrait of each of the girls. Yuri assumed they were done by Sayori because her drawing skills were very poor. Monika cleared her throat like a teacher would, grabbed a piece of chalk and began talking.

_\- THIS is our plan for the festival! Now, we are going to discuss which of these you two will be doing. Yuri, me and Sayori thought you would enjoy doing the decorations, because of your creativity and crafting skills. It could be anything! Is this job fine with you?_

_\- Yes of course! I will even bring aromatherapy candles for atmosphere!_ \- the girl seemed really excited. _'Monika never fails to impress_ _.'_.

 _\- Great!_ \- as she said that, on the board under Yuri's portrait she wrote 'decorations and atmosphere'. _\- Natsuki, for you we decided it would be most enjoyable to bake something since you seem to enjoy it and every time you bring something it's amazingly delicious! Is this job fine with you?_

_\- Sure._

Monika wrote under Natsuki's portrait 'food'.

 _\- So what is **your**  job for the festival? _\- Natsuki asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Monika and Sayori nervously looked at each other.

_\- Umm... About that... We couldn't think of anything. That's why we need your help. Tell us what to do. The only thing we came up with was making flyers and handing them to other students._

_\- Are you serious?! So you basically gave us all the hard work?_  - the pink haired girl frowned. There was a moment of silence.

 _\- I think I have an idea..._  - Yuri said quietly, but as she continued to talk her voice became more and more clear, full of excitement.  _\- We could decorate the whole room like a Victorian Library! With shelves full of books, a coffee table, beautiful armchairs and let people pick up a book to read. We could also make or buy wallpapers with a wooden print to cover the walls and make it look more realistic, buy a small red carpet. I could -_

She stopped for a moment to look at the other three girls who were staring at her with satisfied expressions.

_\- I-I'm sorry for rambling again!_

_\- Yuri what are you saying?! This is an amazing idea and we are definitely doing it! Me and Sayori could look for prints and find the other stuff. Just write down what exactly we need to transform this room into a real Victorian Library!_ \- Monika's voice was overflowing with happiness. Sayori was nodding her head like crazy, her eyes sparkling.

_\- Really? You think so? I'm glad I could help! What do you think Natsuki?_

For some reason, Yuri really cared about the girl's opinion.

_\- It sounds really cool. I didn't expect less from you. But I thought of something too - we should recite poems of our choice! Then we can dress according to the theme of that poem._

_\- That sounds wonderful too!_

_\- Then it's settled! Now let's make a list of things we will need. Yuri, will you help me with this one?_ \- Monika grabbed a piece of paper and started making a list with Yuri's help. Sayori and Natsuki went to the closet to get a folder with everyone's poems in it. Each of them chose the poem they will be reciting.

 _\- But, aren't the armchairs going to be heavy and kind of expensive?_  - Sayori suddenly asked.

 _\- We could rent them or buy second hand and return them later. The teachers will help us with moving them. Though I doubt they will be heavier than you._  - Monika chuckled.

_\- Oh, okay!_

The bell rang. The school day has finally ended. Yuri and Natsuki said their goodbyes to the girls and left the room.

_\- Should we go now? You wanted to see the town as sunset right?_

Yuri's heart did a little flip.  _'She remembered...'_. Relief filled her chest and she nodded. Getting up the tree once again, the view that awaited her was even more beautiful than the one she saw in the morning. The sky was slowly painting itself red as time passed. The clouds also changed colors in different shades of purple, pink and orange. It all looked like a different world. The houses and buildings she saw this morning were now spreading their shadows all over the streets where students now going home were probably talking about their day at school and plans for the weekend. Yuri somehow regretted not looking up in the sky more often.

 _\- Natsuki. Thank you for bringing me here and showing me this... It's mesmerizing._ \- these words escaped her mouth unintentionally. She spoke from her heart, though she didn't really realize that. There was a moment of silence. Natsuki didn't answer. She just stared at the sun slowly setting down. As it disappeared from the horizon, the colors faded too. The sky was turning dark blue and stars started to appear. Yuri didn't want to leave, but she had to.

The girls returned to the ground. Approaching the school gate, Yuri spoke to Natsuki again.

_\- Natsuki. Can we... Come here every day before and after school? I enjoy... Sitting there... With you..._

Natsuki's face was red like the sky from a few moments ago. Trying to keep her voice still, she responded.

_\- Of course. I would...love...to. Anyways, do you like... Want to spend the weekend together? We have pretty heavy jobs for the event but I think if we help each other we will be done in no time!_

She was back to her usual character. Yuri gave her a smile.

_\- Yes of course! Please come to my house tomorrow._

_\- Okay. I will come early though.. you know why._

_\- I will be waiting._

They parted ways and Natsuki returned home. Her father wasn't home yet so she had some time to prepare for tomorrow. Yuri went through a few bookstores to buy paint and other art supplies. She had a lot of ideas and couldn't wait for Natsuki to arrive.  _'I wish she stayed the night...But I guess it's better that way...' ._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for today lads! If you liked it, please leave a Kudo and if you have any suggestions, let me know! The same goes about mistakes in my writing! I take criticism well, so don't be afraid to tell me.  
> I hope you await the next one.  
> Peace out.


	4. A Red Rose for a White Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are decorating at Yuri's house. A walk to the near park is always refreshing. A white dress and a red rose in the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed the problem thanks to the lovely people in the comments!  
> Now the chapter should look the way it should.

The moment she opened her eyes, excitement ran through her body. Natsuki grabbed her backpack and put some clothes in it. She was going to stay the next three days at Yuri's house. The next thing she put in it were some art supplies 'just in case'. Next, she headed to the kitchen to get the ingredients she needed for her part of the job. Her main idea was making cupcakes with different words and literature related small decorations. After packing everything, she was ready to go.

The excitement made her run to Yuri's place. Arriving there she knocked on the door. It was around seven in the morning.  _'I hope I'm not too early...'_ The door opened.

 _\- Told ya I will come early!_  - Natsuki grinned at the girl, who looked happy to see her.

 _\- Good morning, Natsuki! Please, come in!_  - Natsuki let herself in and Yuri closed the door behind her.  _\- I see you have brought a lot of stuff!_

_\- Well yeah. I'm staying the weekend and I also brought some extra art supplies I found in my drawers. The other stuff is for the cooking._

_\- Oh, I see. Will you help me move the coffee table? I think it will be more comfortable to work in the living room on the floor._

_\- Sure thing._

After moving the table, Yuri went upstairs to get the materials - different types of paint, brushes, origami and tissue paper, markers, pens, and even a hot glue gun.  _' Wow, she has prepared so much! She must have a lot of ideas.'_  Natsuki pulled out her art supplies and sat on the floor, opposite of Yuri.

_\- So what are we doing?_

_\- Well, since we are following the Victorian style I listed Monika and Sayori what furniture and decorations we need. I was thinking of making some flowers from paper and put them in decorative cages or near the candleholders. What do you think?_

_\- Paper flowers? Sounds pretty good. Can you show me how to do it? I'm not really good at crafting..._

_\- Of course!_  - as she said that Yuri gave Natsuki a few red, black, purple and blue colored origami paper sheets. As she explained, she was working as well.

_\- First, fold your paper in half and cut it. I made some petal models last night so we can use them. Later we can experiment with different petal shapes. For this one, we will need ten sheets in total. Three of them we will cut in half to create the smaller petals. Stack the big sheets, trace and cut out the petal to make the process quicker. In the base make a little slit which will create two flaps. You will glue the flap so that it overlaps the other. By doing this, the petals will sit at an angle instead of laying flat. The petals should stand straighter, so for the medium and small petals, you have to glue the flaps so they overlap more! When attaching the big petals, they will form the shape of a bowl. Do this with all the sheets and then attach them to one another. This will create a big flower. Do you get the idea?_

_\- Yep, I think I got it._

Yuri handed Natsuki scissors and both of them started cutting and gluing. Natsuki found this pretty relaxing. She never really knew the other girl's hobbies. Just her love for tea and literature. But apparently, she liked crafting and decorating too.  _'Though her home isn't decorated at all. It's plain like mine. Maybe she just doesn't have time to decorate. She probably studies most of the time. After all, she is the smartest person in the school...'_

_\- Hey, Yuri._

_\- Yes? What is it?_

_\- Do you like decorating stuff? You are pretty good at it._

_\- Yes, it's very relaxing and a good time passing hobby._

_\- Then why haven't you decorated your house too? I think it will give it more... atmosphere._

_\- Oh, I have thought of that but... I actually like my home plain and boring...kind of like me._  - she mumbled the last part.

 _\- Yuri, you are none of these things! Even if I don't know you very well I find you interesting and very kind...and pretty.._ \- she said looking straight in her eyes with cheeks, pink like the paper she was currently cutting. Yuri didn't say anything. She just started at Natsuki. Their expressions were similar in a way. After breaking the eye contact to look at the side Yuri smiled to herself and said:

_\- Thank you..._

Natsuki didn't respond. They made around thirty flowers with different colors. Yuri placed them on the table to admire their work. Natsuki was getting the hang of it and now she wanted to do more and more.

_\- Wow! These actually turned out really pretty! What do we do next?_

_\- I asked Monika to buy two decorative birdcages. I wanted to wrap around them leafs attached to a wire to make it look like a tree branch. We can wrap them around the shelves too. And my other idea was to make more flowers but from book pages. I have some books I don't read anymore so we can freely use them._

_\- Neat!_

_\- I would like you to take the tree branch part and I will make the book page roses._

_\- Got it!_

Yuri handed her the materials she needed -  green paper, brown paper tape, and wire. Of course, Yuri showed her how to do it and then returned to her own task. The length of the wire Natsuki cut was as long as her index finger. She used the brown paper tape to adhere it to the green paper, leaving something that represented a stem sticking out. She cut around the wire in the shape of a heart to create each of the leafs. Twisting the stems she attached them to a longer piece of wire to make a really long branch. The girl wrapped it around her neck and stood up, closing her eyes, giving herself a very important look.

 _\- I'm the Queen of the Forest! Kneel before me or I will do unpleasant things to your body!_ \- after that she let out an evil and cocky laughter, putting a hand near her mouth. Opening one eye to see Yuri's expression, she was quite satisfied with it. Yuri decided to play along too and entered the victim role, putting a hand on her foreheads as if she is about to faint.

_\- Please spare me! What should I do to keep my body and mind pure?_

_\- Hmm... Let's see..._  - she glanced at the clock.  _\- If you satisfy me with your cooking I will think about it._

_\- What would you like, My Lady?_

Something about these words and the way Yuri said it made Natsuki's heart jump a little.

_\- Surprise me!_

_\- Then if you excuse me._  - the taller girl got to her feet, made a little bow and went to the kitchen. Natsuki took off the leaf scarf so she won't damage it, plopped on the couch and started to laugh and giggle. From the kitchen, Yuri's giggles could be heard too.

After they had lunch, Natsuki made some more of the branches and Yuri was ready with the book page roses. Sighing with relief, she announced:

_\- Half of the work is done. I still have a few ideas in mind, but for now, do you want to get some fresh air?_

_\- Sounds great. Let's go!_

Exiting the house, cold air brushed Natsuki's cheeks. Inhaling the fresh air made her feel fresh as well.

_\- Can we stop by the near cafeteria? I want to drink something._

_\- Of course._

_\- They have various types of tea too, so if you want you can get something too._

The girl nodded and they headed to the cafeteria. There weren't many people inside. Most of them with their laptops, working. Natsuki ordered a Mocha.

_\- Excuse me, what types of tea do you have?_

The woman in charge pulled a big wooden box with different tea flavors. Yuri quickly scanned every name and chose some type of Oolong Tea. They paid the woman and went outside again, heading to the near park. They sat on one of the benches in front of a small pond.

_\- I didn't know you liked coffee, Natsuki._

_\- Sometimes I feel like drinking it. It's refreshing. What tea did you order?_

_\- Big Red Robe - a type of Oolong Tea. And what is 'mocha' ? I'm sorry I'm not very familiar with coffee..._

_\- It's basically espresso with milk and chocolate syrup. Do you want to try it?_

_\- I guess it wouldn't hurt._

Natsuki handed her the cardboard cup. Yuri took a small sip. The liquid had a slightly sweet taste.

_\- How is it?_

_\- Kind of sweet. I like it. Would you like to try mine?_

The smaller girl nodded and took a sip of Yuri's drink. The tea had a pretty strong taste, but it wasn't bitter. The aroma was pretty strong too.

_\- It has a unique taste I guess..._

_\- This specific Oolong Tea is the most expensive tea sold on the global market and is usually reserved for honored guests in China. Only a few of the original bushes remain and they are highly guarded. According to legend, the mother of an emperor was cured of an illness by a certain tea, and that emperor sent great red robes to clothe the four bushes from which that batch of tea originated._

_\- Wow, that's pretty interesting!_

_\- I know right? Tea is interesting in general. The different aromas, taste, the shape of the leafs, origins, ways of brewing and preparing it._

_\- I see. It does sound interesting when you say it. I bet if someone boring such as teachers explained it I wouldn't listen._

_\- I'm glad I got your interest...in tea I mean. If you would like I could tell you more._

They continued to chat on the bench and time stopped to exist. Natsuki got lost in Yuri's talk about tea, books she has read and her other hobbies as well. The purple haired girl's voice was so calm and full of life. She could listen to her all day and the day after that, she could look in her eyes until her soul got entirely consumed in them. She could drown in them. A sudden vibration coming from her phone distracted both of them. Natsuki jolted and pulled out her phone. She had a missed call from her dad. For a moment all color drained from her, but then she remembered that her dad doesn't know where Yuri lives which meant he couldn't harm her in any way. The only problem was her return on Tuesday. She swallowed and put her phone back in her pocket.

_\- My, it's already this late. I think we should head back and finish the work we have left. What do you say?_

_\- Sure, let's go._

The girls headed towards Yuri's place. Kicking her shoes off Natsuki hopped on the couch.

_\- So, what do we do now?_

_\- I wanted to make a curtain from origami paper. I'm going to use this red ribbon to hang the paper. I want you to write different words on the paper. You could write words that are appealing to you. We should ask the others about this too._  - Yuri gave Natsuki four markers in four different colors - Pink, Purple, Blue, and Green.

 _\- Okay, I will text Monika and Sayori right away._  - opening her phone she sent each of them a text saying  **[Hey, we need help for something - tell me a few words that you find appealing.]**. Not long after, she received a text from Sayori with the words  **[Sunset  , Ocean , Tears , Love , Rainbow , Rose ]**. Her text was full of emoticons. While she waited for Monika's text, Natsuki wrote the words Sayori send her with the blue marker. The words she chose to write were  **Anime, Whisper, Fantasy, Nightgown, Lipstick, and Skirt** , written with the pink marker.

_\- Yuri, what are your preferred words? I will write them down for you, so just tell me._

_\- Oh, okay, then the first one is **Aura, Dream, Judgement, Sensation, Scars, and Hope**._

_\- Ready! Now I have to wait for Monika's-_  - the phone vibrated again. It was a text from Monika. -  _Speaking of the devil, there she is._

The text said  **[Well, if I had to choose, they would be Poem, Meaningless, Hole, Colors, Pen, Together.]**  . Natsuki grabbed the light green marker and wrote the last remaining words.

_\- And~ all done! All 24 words are down!_

_\- And I'm done cutting the ribbon. Now let's attach them together._

Yuri made a hole at the top center of each sheet and wrapped the ribbon around it, making one big curtain. It actually looked really nice.

_\- I bet people would at least peek inside, I mean this really catches my eye._

_\- You really think so?? I'm glad! And I think we are completely ready with the decorating part! Now we can relax._

_\- Hooray! We make an awesome team!_  - as the smaller girl said that she hugged Yuri over the chest. Yuri's heartbeat echoed in her ears. _'She smells nice...And she is so warm... I wish I could never let go_ _...'_  . Feeling Yuri's arms wrap around her, pulling her closer made her feel safe. From everything. The purple haired girl didn't seem to want to let go either. After eventually parting from each other Natsuki suggested:

_\- Hey, how about we try to recite our poems and choose outfit according to its theme? Monika said it sounded amazing or something._

_\- Sure, we still have some time to spare before dinner. Might as well have some fun after all this work. But it was enjoyable, right?_

_\- Definitely! Well then, let's first prepare our clothes, since it's easier. I chose an old poem of mine - " I'll be your beach" ._

_\- Oh, I remember we wrote about the same thing that day. Even if I didn't say it I really liked it..._

_\- I kind of sensed that. And what poem did you choose?_

_\- I chose "Ghost under the light" , the second part of the poem._

_\- Okay. Well, let's see what you have~_

As she said that, Natsuki headed to Yuri's room, the other girl following her. She opened the closet and scanned every piece of clothing that was hanged or folded. She remembered each of Yuri's poems to the very detail. She kind of always imagined Yuri in a long white frilly dress. The only dress she found in the closet was indeed white, but the model wasn't anything fancy - off the shoulder scuba dress. She handed the dress to Yuri and continued to rummage. Soon she found white pantyhose. An idea occurred in Natsuki's head.

_\- Here, wear this! I will be right back!_

She ran down the stairs and grabbed a safety pin from her backpack and attached one of the red roses to it. She went up to Yuri's room again.  _'Oh...my...god...'_  she thought. Yuri was looking at herself in the full-length mirror and fixing the folded fabric wrapped around her shoulders.  _'She looks like an angel_ _...'_  . In Natsuki's eyes, the girl was practically shining, almost blinding her. Noticing her staring, Yuri turned to face the other girl, her face flushing red like the rose Natsuki was holding.

_\- H-how do I look? It doesn't suit me, right?_

Almost as if forgetting how to speak the girl shook her head rapidly and mumbled.

_\- No, no, no! You look...like a princess...! I think... youlookstunning!_

_\- Thank you! I suddenly feel better. I have never really worn a dress before. I don't even know why I bought this one in the first place. I'm glad you like it! What's the rose for?_

With shaky hands, the pink haired girl went to Yuri and tried to pin the rose in the center of the fabric, almost between her chest. After she was done Yuri looked at herself once again. Now she looked even more dazzling. The red was adding contrast to the white dress.

_\- This is the outfit I imagined! Now we need an umbrella! A red one though! If you don't have one we can ask the others._

_\- No, I have one, don't worry. Are you sure I look...pretty?_

_\- Definitely!_  - the girl nodded with excitement. Yuri smiled at her and joyfully said:

_\- Now, it's my turn to choose clothes for you~_


	5. I want to change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are finishing Natsuki's part of the job. A strange dream and a crescent moon. Change comes first on the outside. A forbidden feeling... or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm updating late again! Things are going wild this week and I just couldn't focus on anything. Exams are right around the corner but oh well... Guess fanfics are more important.   
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

-  _Now, it's my turn to choose clothes for you~_  - Yuri hummed to herself while searching in the closet. She pulled out a black sleeveless V - neck strap top and jean shorts. Natsuki stared at the outfit in Yuri's hands, a questioned look on her face.  _'I'm not going to tell her to dress in a swimsuit just because I imagined it that way... People wear tops and shorts at the beach, right? Then why is she looking at it like this?'_

_\- Is something wrong?_

_\- No... Just let me try them on!_  - the girl snatched the clothes from Yuri's hands and pushed her out of the room. Blinking in confusion, Yuri left her alone and went to the kitchen to cook dinner. They were having omelette with rice. Soon the whole kitchen was filled with the aroma of different herbs and spices. As the purple haired girl was setting the table, she heard loud footsteps coming towards her down the stairs. Soon there was Natsuki - standing in Yuri's oversized clothes. The strap top was down to her thighs covering her like a dress. Yuri just noticed that she wasn't wearing the shorts and felt her face becoming warmer and warmer. Natsuki had on a face that was supposed to show irritation but instead showed embarrassment.

 _'What is she doing?! Why is she...not dressed_ _?!'_  . While examining the girl's body Yuri tried to make a normal question without sounding weird. Her slim legs and thighs were exposed and her milky skin was clear under the kitchen lighting. Her hands were going from crossed in front of her chest to adjusting the top to cover herself more. The black bra straps on her shoulders were visible. She wasn't supposed to stare but she couldn't take her eyes off the girl either.

 _\- N-N-Natsuki!! Why are you...half-naked..?!_  - stumbling over her words she looked over at her.

_\- Because the clothes you gave me are too large for me! Your hips and thighs are...my thighs aren't as thick as yours! So the shorts fall off... And the top is pretty large too._

_\- I'm sorry! Put on something and let's eat before it gets cold, we will figure this out later._

The girl nodded and soon returned with her own clothes. She seemed to like Yuri's cooking. Natsuki helped her clean the dishes.

_\- So, what are we gonna do now? With the clothes I mean._

_\- We could go out on a little shopping trip tomorrow after we are done with your part of the job. I'm sorry, I just don't have anything near your size..._

_\- It's fine. I suppose we could go and search. But is jean shorts and a top what you imagined?_

_\- Well, I don't think going to school in a swimsuit would be comfortable for you, so..._

They fell into awkward silence. It was near nine o'clock and Yuri suggested they should be going to bed. She still hasn't bought a separate blanket for Natsuki. Somehow, she liked the presence of the girl next to her at night. Her warmth was radiating and her breathing was calming. Yuri wasn't calm all the times but she was good at pretending she is. Suppressing the urge to harm herself. To press the cold blade against her throbbing warm skin. To watch as her blood was slowly going down her hands and making small puddles in the sink or on the floor. To watch the blade change colors from bright metallic to dark and bloody, losing its metallic shine. Hearing her own shuddering breath and sometimes quiet cries of pain. And after all of this painful yet pleasing agony, she bandages her arm to hide her inner self. Because inside her was a demon. A demon she wanted to disappear. To leave her alone and see the world in brighter colors. She wanted to stop hurting. To stop getting hurt. But the demon was slowly becoming a part of her. Sometimes Yuri wanted to dig her hands deep inside, grab it and throw it away. Or even kill it violently.

Going to bed with these thoughts was awful. They didn't let her rest properly. Natsuki got under the covers and waited for Yuri to turn the lights off. Joining the pink haired girl she tried to slip into the sweet world of dreams. _'People say when you want to fall asleep fast, think of things that make you happy_ _...'_  . Closing her eyes Yuri let her thoughts focus on things that made her happy. Suddenly she was already dreaming. The strong smell of salty water enveloped her. She was on the beach. The girl swore to herself she could feel the sand beneath her feet. A light breeze was tossing her hair in different directions. The beach line seemed endless, just like the sea in front. Suddenly, there was a person next to her. But they vanished in the blink of an eye.  _'Where did the silhouette go?'_  she thought. Looking around she spotted something that looked like a campfire. It was a campfire. Near it, she saw a blanket with a cooling bag. Yuri sat on the blanket and opened the bag. There was water inside it. Examining the bottle, she took a sip of it.  _'It seems so real_ _...'_  . Soon the sun was setting down. She felt someone sit next to her.  _'What...is she doing here_ _? '_ . Turning to face the girl, Yuri was very surprised and confused.  _'Why is Natsuki in my dream_ _?'_  . Dreamworld Yuri wasn't saying anything. She was just thinking. The other girl looked... fascinating in Yuri's eyes. Her hair was down, she was wearing a white and pink bikini. Surprisingly, Yuri was in her nightgown. The sun was already fading on the horizon, spreading it's beautiful sunset colors that Yuri has already seen. From the bag, Natsuki pulled out marshmallows. Suddenly the campfire lightened up. A stick with three marshmallows appeared in Yuri's hands. She slowly bent it over the fire and waited. Natsuki was telling her something, but she couldn't hear. As if her voice was silenced, but her words were clear. For a moment, the girl was staring at Yuri, her rose pink eyes deep and unreadable. Her face shifted closer and closer... Unable to look away, Yuri didn't notice the giant wave that was coming their way. In one quick motion, it crashed and swallowed both of them into the sea.

Instantly opening her eyes, Yuri came back to reality. She breathed heavily a few times until her heartbeat returned to its usual rhythm. She looked at Natsuki who was sleeping peacefully, then at the clock that showed three in the morning. Quietly standing up she went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. Looking at herself in the mirror, she hasn't changed much. The same long purple hair, the same eyes that were tired, the same slightly hunched posture. The same hands with scars on them. She wanted to change. Both on the inside and outside. But make up didn't really suit her, neither did 'fashionable' clothes.  _'I am plain and boring after all...'_ she thought to herself. Exiting the bathroom Yuri wandered around the house for a few minutes. She didn't know why she just couldn't get to bed anymore. The thought of changing was still stuck in her head. She remembered Natsuki's words about changing the interior of the house. It didn't seem like a bad idea. She could try and find new clothes while shopping with Natsuki later in the day.  _'Now that I think about it, I have a lot of clothes I don't wear...I thought they were just a waste of money before, but I could try them on. It won't hurt_ _.'_  . While wandering Yuri found herself back in the bedroom. The moon was crescent. It reminded her of herself. The bright half was her being shy and generous, and the dark one insane and outbursting, even violent sometimes. She sometimes wanted to be like the stars - to blend in with everyone else, to look normal. She wanted to be normal. Everyone in the club was telling her she is perfect the ways she is, even unique and special, but she didn't feel special at all. She felt fucked up on the inside, messed up. Like a broken clock. She felt lonely. She wanted to feel special and loved even for once. She wanted to truly smile, to be happy. She wanted to hold someone. She wanted someone to hold her. But Yuri knew this would never happen. She was too crazy for anyone. She will end up being attached to them, she will become obsessed with them. Her heart will break and her blood will boil when she sees them with someone else. She was abnormal and she knew that. Exhaustion was hovering over her again and gravity navigated her towards the bed. Getting under the warm covers didn't help her fall asleep. She closed her eyes and waited for her body to shut down by itself.

...

A strong smell from downstairs woke her up. Yuri opened her eyes and went to the kitchen. She was greeted with pancakes with chocolate syrup and a pink haired girl waiting for her at the table, grinning.

_\- Morning! Whatcha think? Am I not amazing?_

_\- You indeed are, Natsuki! These look delicious!_

The other girl looked satisfied with the response and sat down together with Yuri. After having breakfast and cleaning everything up Natsuki opened her backpack and placed all the ingredients she brought on the counter - 2 packs of flour, baking powder, butter, sugar, eggs, milk, icing sugar and other small packs. She has also brought with her muffin tins. Yuri has never cooked sweets before, so all of this was new to her. Natsuki rolled her sleeves and put on an apron. The smaller girl gave her a hairband.

_\- I would recommend you put your hair in a bun so it won't get in the mixtures we are about to make._

Yuri obediently tied her hair up and put on an apron as well. Natsuki filled the tins with paper cases and preheated the oven. She placed two bowls on the counter and handed Yuri the butter and sugar to mix them. Natsuki's hands were fast and made everything look so smooth. After the mixture was ready each of them added two eggs. The pink haired girl poured something that looked like ashes in both bowls.

 _\- What's that?_ \- Yuri asked.

_\- Vanilla extract. I'm adding it to make the cupcakes smell like vanilla._

Natsuki told her to add flour and a little amount of milk to make the mixture have a nice and smooth consistency. She grabbed a spoon and started to fill the paper cases to the half. They filled all 4 muffin tins.

_\- Now we put them in the oven and wait. It won't take long though._

Yuri nodded. She headed upstairs to get some paper bags to put the decorations inside. Natsuki just paced back and forth in front of the oven, sometimes kneeling to see if the cupcakes were ready. The timer made a 'ding' sounds. The moment she heard it, Natsuki opened the oven and carefully took them out and placed them on the counter.

_\- And the funniest part - icing! We have to make the icing cream first._

As she said that, the girl started to mix together butter and icing sugar. Yuri followed. It was actually a really nice hobby. _'If I become good at this I could impress Natsuki in a way_ _...'_  . She didn't know why that thought occurred to her. It just did. She wanted to impress the girl in some way. They added a little more milk before filling a piping bag with the creamy mixture. With quick spiraling motions, soon the vanilla cupcakes looked delicious.

_\- We have to make another 50, then I'm going to show you how to decorate them!_

_\- Okay!_

They repeated the process again and now the whole counter was filled with white cupcakes. Natsuki took out of her bag 5 packs of white chocolate and something that looked like a marker.

_\- These are food markers. We can make little waves on a piece of white chocolate and pretend it's a page from a book. I would love to write actual words but the piece is too small and my markers aren't thin enough._

_\- That's very creative! I like the idea! For a second I thought they were regular markers..._

While Yuri cut the chocolate into small squares, Natsuki drew on each of them small waves and placed them on top of the cupcake. They stuck to the icing like glue. Soon they were ready. Natsuki suggested they put them in plastic boxes, this way it will be easier to carry them to school. Now everything was put in a bag and near the doorway for tomorrow. Yuri stretched her arms.

_\- Natsuki, should we go and search for you outfit now?_

_\- Yeah, sure._

And just like that, they headed to the local shopping center. Yuri brought some extra money with her in case she found something interesting. While they were searching in the first shop they entered, Yuri unconsciously asked:

_\- Natsuki, what type of clothes do you think suit me the most?_

_\- Well, you are tall and have nice and mature features, so dresses and skirts fit you the most. Skinny jeans would make your figure stand out. You are elegant so I think you can make everything look good in comparison with me._ \- the way she said that made Yuri blush a little. Her face and tone were full of assurance as if she was speaking the truth.

_\- Thank you. I'm glad you think like this... Suddenly I feel more confident. I think if you choose the right clothes you will look pretty too. It's a bit rude of me to speak about you figure but..since you have more childlike features...nevermind.!_

_\- No, it's okay I get that a lot. I know I don't look my age. I tend to wear skirts, t-shirts, and jeans because dresses don't suit me. At all._

Yuri felt somewhat guilty. She knew Natsuki didn't like being addressed as a 'child', yet she brought it up in the conversation. Her eyes landed on a grey t-shirt and jean shorts that looked Natsuki's size. She handed them to her and she went to the changing room. Yuri wandered around the table with fake accessories. There she found a nice gold necklace that matched with the outfit and a pair of sunglasses. Going back to the changing room she peeked inside. Natsuki was checking herself in the mirror, doing different poses. Apparently, she didn't notice Yuri looking at her.

_\- You look good._

The pink haired girl turned around with a soft screech.

_\- Y-you scared me! ..Well, I'm glad you like it._

_\- I thought these will match with the outfit, here try them._

She handed her the necklace and the sunglasses. The entire look said 'beach' . Yuri smiled to herself. They bought the clothes and exited the shop.

 _\- NATSUKI~! YURI~!_  - a loud and cheerful voice was heading their way. The voice was unmistakable. It was Sayori. Behind her was Monika. Sayori jumped and gave each of them a hug. Monika just greeted them with a warm smile. They had a lot of bags with them.

_\- Hello Sayori. How was your day?_

_\- Pretty busy. We checked most of the antique and home stores but we still haven't found an antique settee. I'm sorry._

_\- No, it's okay. I thought of something in case we didn't find any. We can buy a big red velvet fabric and put it on regular chairs organized as a sofa._

_\- Better than nothing. At least they won't be standing._

_\- I will bring speakers so we can play Victorian music as we recite. It will create atmosphere to make things more realistic!_  - Monika added.

_\- That's a great idea, Monika! I'm sorry if I gave you a hard job with all these purchases. I will give you the money back I promise!_

_\- Don't mention it! All of us had pretty hard jobs - you guys were making decorations with your own hands. We just went and bought some stuff._

_\- Hey, I'm getting pretty hungry, how about we grab something and then continue shopping?_  - Natsuki suggested. The other girls agreed. They went to a cafeteria and continued to chat. Questions about tomorrow we're exchanged and some things were made clear. The next shop they visited was a fabric store where they bought a 3-meter garnet red velvet fabric. Monika and Sayori said their goodbyes to the girls because they had to prepare their outfits. Yuri and Natsuki waved to them and headed to another clothing store. She didn't really know what to buy, but she definitely wanted something new.

_\- Hey, Natsuki, could you choose something for me? I want to try new looks but don't know where to start from, so..._

_\- Gotcha! You go in the changing room I will be right back!_

The girl's eyes sparkled and went to search. Yuri quietly headed to one of the cabins and waited. Soon she heard steps coming her way. In her hands Natsuki was holding a purple bardot top, black jean shorts and black thigh high socks. The look on her face was confident. Yuri took the clothes and looked them over. She hesitated for a moment but then remembered why she was doing it. Closing the curtain she changed into want Natsuki chose for her. The top matched with her hair and the black was in contrast with the purple. Peeking out she slowly pushed the curtain to the side, revealing herself in front of Natsuki. The girl was grinning from ear to ear. Yuri didn't expect that reaction. She didn't know what to expect actually.

 _\- How do I look..?_  - the self-consciousness visible in her voice.

- _Both casual and perfect. Are you gonna buy them?_

_\- Yes!_

_'Casual... It's different from boring, right?_ _',_ while thinking she changed back into her black jeans and sweater. Going back home was quick and peaceful and so was dinner. After going to bed, Yuri continued to think about how exactly she wanted to change. Most of all she wanted to change on the inside.  _'I want to be normal. I want my heart to leap when I see my loved ones. I want my mouth to form a smile when I talk to them. I want to feel pure love. I want to feel loved. I just want to be a normal high school girl. Is it that hard? Is it impossible for me?'_. She turned her head to the side to face Natsuki. Her hair was down and her face looked calm. Her breathing was steady. Yuri found herself thinking how all of this felt so natural. As if it was meant to be. Though in everyone else's eyes it would be strange - their friend coming over almost every day, sleeping next to them and feeling comfortable that way. Natsuki didn't want to go home, and Yuri was the only one who knew why. She understood her. The girl wanted to feel safe and she found safety in Yuri's house. The girl's behavior was different around her. Whenever she hugged her, Yuri didn't want to let go, but sometimes she was afraid to hug back as well. The feeling of someone else's heartbeat next to hers made her feel warm. It was special to her. She didn't really realize it that well for now, but she was getting attached to that feeling. To those kind words, to that calm face, voice, and presence.

If Yuri ever realized it that would hurt her.   
She would hate herself even more.  
She would hurt even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today, I WILL T R Y to update the next one sooner.  
> *quietly praying to exam god for at least a C*


	6. A Haunted House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally the day of the festival. The girls prepared a lot for it and excitement is written on their faces. A walk around the clubs helps understand different people and a little scare is good for the mind as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm here again, this time earlier I guess? I have more time to write down because some unpleasant things happened, but never mind that, for now, enjoy the chapter.  
> Also, the names of the animes are entirely random words! If there is an actual thing with the same name then idk.

The bright sunlight was showing itself through the curtains. Natsuki slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was how close Yuri's sleepy face was. It almost startled her. She slowly shifted away and got up. The alarm clock was showing six in the morning. Rubbing her eyes she gently tapped Yuri's shoulder and whispered.

_"C'mon we should get going"_

The other girl twitched a little and opened her eyes as well. Her long eyelashes revealing those beautiful bright purple eyes. Getting up she stretched out her arms and yawned. After coming to their senses both of them changed into their respective outfits  - Yuri in her white dress and Natsuki in her summer top and jean shorts. The taller girl grabbed the bags with decorations and Natsuki carried the food. Checking themselves in the mirror one last time, they exited the house and headed to school. Club participants had to arrive earlier and prepare their clubrooms.

Arriving at the club the first thing they saw were Sayori and Monika moving the chairs to form the 'sofa'. Monika was dressed in a light shade of grey dress with white feathers attached to the waist like a belt. Her ankles and wrists also had feathers like bracelets around them. Her hair was in a bun, with a feather in it as well. She was looking like a big bird in Natsuki's eyes. But also stunning and charming. Judging by the number of feathers she had on her, the poem she chose was "The lady who knows everything". Sayori was wearing a white t-shirt with the words 'Happy thoughts' written with red paint. It was splattered like blood. She had fake blood all over her arms, face, and jeans. She looked horrifying.  _'A bunch of weirdos...'_  she thought to herself. But those weirdos were her dearest best friends and she loved them the way they are.

_"Well if it isn't Feather Lady and Broken Bottles. What can we help with?"_

_"Natsu- Wow..."_

The peach haired girl wanted to greet them properly but something made her stop in her track. 

_"Yuri, you look... majestic..."_

She was staring at the girl as if she saw beauty itself. Natsuki was a little offended. Monika turned around and the same look appeared on her face. It was like a disease. Currently pissed off, Natsuki spoke.

_"WELL, I guess you don't need help with anything so I will just go and check the other clubs!"_

_"No, please don't! We really need your help Natsuki, please!"_

Yuri turned to her with sad eyes. Natsuki's heart didn't like the way Yuri was looking at her so she sighed and went to help them with the chairs. Monika cleared her throat and smiled at the purple haired beauty, lightly nudging Sayori on the side to make her stop staring at the girl.

_"I-I'm so sorry, I just...Yuri... you look like a princess!"_

_"Thank you! Natsuki picked this outfit for me! I also brought an umbrella with me to make it more like the poem. Monika, you look fantastically as well! Sayori you too!"_

The girls giggled at her compliment. The next hour or so they spend decorating. First, they formed something like a big sofa with all the chairs in the room. They covered it with the fabric and put some pillows to make it look more comfortable. They arranged the desks like a big table where they put golden candleholders with aromatherapy candles inside. They shoved the teacher's desk to the very end of the room. There was a large podium which they covered with a red carpet. At the left and right side of the podium, they put the two decorative birdcages with candles in them as well. Yuri put a flower in each of the cages, near the candleholders on the tables and around the floor. Sayori hanged black laced curtains on the windows. Monika and Natsuki were putting the wallpapers on the walls. Each of them has brought a few books which were used for decoration as well. Natsuki placed all the cupcakes on two big trays and Yuri hanged the origami paper curtain on the door. The room was now fully decorated. The only thing that was left was lighting the candles and putting down the curtains. This way the room looked more mysterious.

_"Honestly this looks so good. I think we have the best looking room!"_

Natsuki had a satisfied smirk on her face. Yuri smiled at her comment.

_"I'm sure other people put just as much effort as we did, even more, but I'm happy you like it! Should we take a walk and see what the other clubs are up to?"_

_"Sounds fun, let's go."_

And just like that, they left the other two girls alone. Since they were on the third floor, first they checked the clubs on the third floor. The club next to theirs was the art club. Aprons with splattered paint on them were hanged like a curtain on the door.  _'Pretty creative. They are the art club after all.'_  Natsuki thought. A guy with a fake ginger beard, white shirt, blue coat and pants turned to face them:

_"Oh hey there! You must be the literature club, right? Glad you visited! We are preparing an art alley. We drew portraits of famous painters and dressed as them! Can you guess who I am?"_

_"Van Gogh?"_

Yuri answered, not very confident.

_"That's correct!"_

The guy lifted a white piece of cloth and revealed the portrait of Van Gogh he drew. The drawing was almost perfect. She looked up to see Yuri's expression. She looked impressed. _'Of course, she would be_ _...'_  . They looked around some more and decided to leave and go to the next one - the music club.  As they approached, the sounds of various instruments were playing, creating unpleasant noise. Natsuki opened the door, struggling to not shout at them to shut it. The moment she peeked inside all the noise shut down and the girls turned to face them. Natsuki felt awkward but still asked them.

_"Uh, hey guys. What's up?"_

_"We are... Practicing, sort of. For the festival, we are going to play music and tell people about the different music genres and musicians in the past."_

_'Honestly, they sound terrible. I heard rumors that they stay after school for 'club activities' just to hang around and bother people. At least their clothes are pretty.'_

_"Sounds cool. Yuri, let's go."_

Nodding and waving for a goodbye, the taller girl followed behind. The last club on their floor was the anime and gaming club. Natsuki was very excited to visit it. Even though nobody except her friends from the club knew about her love for anime, she didn't really care if someone from her class saw her entering the club.  _'Let them think 'she is still a child'. Let them think whatever they want. I want to enjoy myself at this festival and nothing can stop me!'_  with that thought, her pace quickened and soon they were in front of the club's door. Natsuki took a deep breath and went inside.  _'This. Is. Heaven.'_  was the first thing that occurred in her mind. One of the girls was dressed in a maid outfit from a very popular series and a guy was wearing armor from head to toe. Basically, everyone was wearing different cosplays from different shows. Natsuki's eyes lightened up. The room was decorated with various wall scrolls, the shelves filled with merchandise. It looked like the ultimate anime fan room. On one of the chairs, there was even a body pillow. The people turned around to face the girls and gave them a welcoming smile. Yuri was awkwardly watching from the sides. Anime obviously wasn't her thing, but she respected it as Natsuki's hobby. Suddenly the girl stepped inside and started showering them with words.

_"Wow, you guys look stunning! It feels like I'm at a convention or something! You are from the series "Deadly Elegant Maids" right? You did an amazing job with the prop,  it's so cool! And you are from the game "Hearts of Evil" right? The armor looks so real! You guys rock!"_

Everyone turned red and thanked Natsuki for her kindness. For a moment she almost forgot she was on a walk with Yuri, so she excused herself and said she is going to come back again. The purple haired beauty was waiting for her at the door.  _'Aw man, I left her hanging at the door...What a friend I am..'_ Natsuki frowned at herself a little.

_"I'm sorry I left you like that, it wasn't on purpose."_

_"I know. It's okay. You were happy to see anime fans cosplay, plus they really did an amazing job, so it's understandable. I'm sorry if you want you can stay and chat I will go help Monika and Sayori with whatever's left or practice my poem with them. You know I get nervous in front of other people so-"_

_"Yuri, if I wanted to come here just to chat with them I would have gone alone. But I want to spend a little time with you at the festival. You are more important to me than them, I don't even know these people. So, how about we continue our...walk."_

The other girl looked relieved and smiled. Natsuki said her goodbyes to the anime club and she and Yuri went down the stairs to the second floor, where the astrology, occult research, and cooking club awaited them. The smell of fresh food was in the air and Natsuki could do nothing but inhale it hungrily. The whole club room was like a big kitchen - everyone was cooking something, carrying it to the first floor where most of the stands and maid cafes were and talking over each other. It felt like the cooking shows on the television. The girls didn't want to bother them, so they decided to try their food later. The astrology club was right next to the cooking one. On the entrance was hanged a dark blue curtain with white dots that represented a night sky. Inside, the windows were covered and the lights were off. The only light was coming from the ceiling - glowing in the dark stars were hanged there. Natsuki couldn't see Yuri's face well but she could tell she was enjoying herself. Suddenly the girl went behind Natsuki and kneeled down, resting her chin on the girl's shoulder. She stretched her arm to the ceiling and pointed at a bunch of stars.

_"This is Orion. And this is Andromeda and Pegasus. And over there is Cassiopeia."_

The girl's quiet voice and long hand were guiding her across the ceiling. Natsuki wasn't good with astrology and constellations at all. She rarely looked up at the night sky, or whenever she did, it was usually full of clouds. Softly she mumbled something to herself.

_"I want to go stargazing sometime."_

She felt the other girl shift away and as they walked out of the club, the light irritated their eyes for a moment. Natsuki wasn't really a fan of the occult and the club room somehow always had a creepy feeling to it, but she felt safer with Yuri.  _'Yuri likes creepy and scary things, right? So it will be okay...'_ Natsuki tried to calm herself with that thought. There was a stand in front of the door. Behind it was a girl with long black hair, white pale skin and a bloody gown that was torn apart at the sides.

_"I heard they turned the room into a Haunted house! Should we go inside? If you feel disturbed than that's okay, we don't have to."_

_"Me? Scared? Never. Only children are scared of haunted houses! And I'm obviously not a child!"_

_"Okay then. Two tickets please."_

The girl behind the stand was doing everything very slowly.  _'It's supposed to be creepy but it's actually annoying. Can't she hurry up?'_  Natsuki was trying to sound brave in her mind. She has been once in a Haunted house before and eventually, she ran away screaming. The girl lifted the black curtain to the side, making an entrance for them. Yuri went first and Natsuki followed close behind. The curtain fell down, burying the room into darkness. There was a sound of a metallic door shutting behind them. Natsuki jolted. _'Special effects... There is nothing scary. I bet they used white blankets as ghosts because they are so lame!'_  she thought. She looked at her feet and noticed something white and cloudy - mist.  _'Dry ice and hot water. Lame and simple trick.' ._ She was trying to distract herself with those comments. There was a sound of footsteps coming from behind and in front of them.  _'It's me and Yuri, so it's probably our steps I am hearing_ _.'_  . The sounds of something cracking, shattering and a slow creepy melody were filling the room from every corner. Suddenly, the room fell into silence. A sound from stabbing. A loud scream. Panting. A sound of something falling on the ground and being dragged. The sudden change of atmosphere made Natsuki reach and grab for Yuri's arm. The other girl wasn't even shaking or showing any sign of emotion. A small candle lightened up the room. In front of it was a small piece of paper. Yuri kneeled down to see what was written on it. With red paint, it said 'Help me'. A soft chuckle of a woman was played in the distance, followed by the words  _'Now, come here. Closer...Closer...Find me...'_  and whispering sounds overlapping each other creating a cacophony. Natsuki was pretty sure she was both pale and scared. Her fingers wrapped around Yuri's arm tighter. They slowly walked towards the direction of the voice. After twenty steps or so the room was in silence once again. Natsuki swallowed. Five candles lightened up, revealing a chair. Natsuki couldn't hold her breath any longer and let out a horrified scream. Every part of her was shaking. On the chair there was a mannequin, that looked realistic enough to scare an eighteen years old girl. Its limbs were attached to the body with thick red and blue strings. They were lightly swinging back and forth. Blood and fake organs were splattered everywhere - on the body, chair, and floor. Its eyes looked drained and empty. Though they obviously weren't real, it felt like they were staring at Natsuki, ready to jump on her any moment. The whole image was very realistic and thus terrifying.  The voice spoke again.  _'How unfortunate. You couldn't save her. Is your chest filled with guilt? Or do you feel like throwing up? She looks peaceful, doesn't she? Would you like to join her?'_  Suddenly the candles went off and the normal daylight came back. This time, above the mannequin the girl from the stand was leaning on the chair.

_"Boo."_

She said in a monotone. Natsuki screamed again. She looked up to Yuri. The girl was trying to suppress a laugh but failed. Natsuki felt ashamed and turned red.  _'In the end, I am a child...'_  she thought. Yuri thanked the girl for the 'unique experience' and they exited the room. Natsuki turned to the stand and saw the girl there again.  _'Wait...How??'_  she looked puzzled for a moment before a second girl came from the room and they gave each other a high five.

_"It was better than I imagined! The sound effects were amazing, the fake blood, note, and body! Everything was very well prepared! True art!"_

Yuri sounded like she enjoyed herself. Natsuki cleared her throat.

_"It was good I suppose."_

_"Natsuki, you don't have to pretend to be brave. Nobody is always brave. Everybody is scared of something. It's just a matter of perspective - for example, I find haunted houses entertaining and fun, while you find them scary. I was a little surprised when you grabbed me so suddenly. This won't sound very nice but... You look cute when you are scared."_

_"That's an awful way to put it, but thank you I guess." 'At least she thinks I'm cute in a way.' ._ Natsuki didn't know why that thought occurred to her. She wanted Yuri to find her attractive. She liked it when the girl was complimenting her. It made her feel special because she didn't really get compliments often. With that, they headed to the first and final floor of their walk through the clubs. On the first floor, they usually put the cafes, mini-games, and shops. The school had those on the outside too of course.

_"I'm kind of hungry, how about we visit one of the maid cafes? One of my classmates is participating as a waitress there, she could recommend us something."_

Natsuki suggested, pointing at one of the cafes that didn't have many people in it.

_"Sounds good."_

They entered and sat on a table. A tall girl with blond hair made in a bun went to their table.

_"Natsuki! Glad you visited! How is the festival going so far? I don't really have time to look around because of my work here, but I will try to find some time and visit your club! I saw Monika earlier with another girl carrying a lot of bags and I assumed you have something big planned!"_

Her voice was calm and yet excited.

_"Sure, we will be glad to have you. What would you recommend us from the menu?"_

_"Well, there aren't many choices and I don't know what your preferences are, so you have to choose for yourself. Here!"_

She handed them a colorful menu. Natsuki flipped through pages a few times and ordered rice with curry and Yuri chose tempura. The girl smiled at them, excused herself and went to the kitchen on the second floor.

_"She looks nice."_

_"She is the biggest troublemaker in the class. No wonder many people aren't visiting."_

_"Maybe that's what everyone sees in her, but in actuality, she may be a nice and friendly girl. I think because nobody is trying to understand her she acts that way. She looked really happy when you entered, you should try to talk to her more often. Maybe she will change her behavior."_

_"Maybe you are right, but I don't really like the people in my class. I don't like the people at school at all. The only people I like to talk to are you guys. Everyone else is lame."_

Yuri let out an awkward chuckle. Soon the girl was back with their orders. The food smelled nice and was fresh and hot. After finishing and giving the girl their thanks, Natsuki and Yuri went outside for some fresh air. The stands had queues with hungry people, juniors were playing mini-games and winning prizes. Yuri was humming something to herself while walking beside Natsuki. They circled the school and decided to go back to the club room.

After all, they had to recite poems.


	7. Plans for the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the festival went like it was planned. Well, almost. Yuri finally knows something more about her dream. But does she know her plans for the future?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late again, I'm sorry it's just this chapter is so crappy I wanna dies smh.  
> The next one is more exciting I PROMISE!!  
> Still, enjoy!

As they were walking to the club room with a quick pace, Yuri tried to recite the poem in her head just in case. Monika told her she and Sayori hanged posters around the school that there will be a 'special event' at the Literature club and now Yuri was nervous. She didn't want to embarrass herself in front of other people. She always wanted to stay hidden away from human eyes. Their judging glares, their fake smiles, their empty words and meaningless actions. Sometimes she wondered if there are still people true to their emotions. But then she remembered the pink haired girl next to her. There wasn't a day Natsuki wasn't herself. She was always saying whatever is on her mind and didn't try to hide it.  _'That's what I like about her...'_ she sometimes thought to herself. There were many things she liked about Natsuki - her hair, her eyes, her personality. Her. She liked her for who she is. Soon, they reached their destination. Yuri took a deep breath and opened the door. Inside it smelled like Jasmine. The curtains were down and the candles were lit up. She looked around and saw fifteen people sitting on the 'sofa' . Yuri trembled a little. Monika and Sayori were waiting for them at the podium. The peach haired and bloody girl waved at them. Yuri turned to face Natsuki. She was pretty calm, though her face was showing boredom instead. They made their way to the podium and waited for the president to speak.

_"Hello to all of you. I'm the Literature club's president - Monika.  Today we are going to recite our poems in front of you, including acting. I hope you enjoy your time here and now give a round of applause for our first member - Sayori."_

The audience clapped as they were asked. Monika was very good at managing her voice and words. It gave her a mature look. As the clapping faded away, Sayori came up on the podium while the other three girls stepped to the side. She started to recite and act on the words.

_"I reach inside with my thumb and forefinger and pluck one out."_

At that line, she reached into her pocket and showed everyone a small white ball that was representing her dreams. She put it in a small plastic bottle. In front of her there was a row of plastic bottles with small balls inside. The girl crouched behind them and in a singsong voice said 'Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in bottles, all in a row' .

 _"Holding them out to each and every friend. Each and every bottle."_  Sayori held one up for the audience to see. She had a sad smile on.

 _"But every time I let one go, it shatters against the tile between my feet."_  She let go of it and it fell on the floor in half. Apparently, she cut them beforehand so it will be more accurate. Everyone was kind of impressed, but after you figure a trick out, it's never interesting anymore.

 _"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor."_  As she said that her body slowly sank down on the floor, giving her a limp look. The expression she was wearing was fragile and hurt.  _'I never knew Sayori could make such faces.'_  Yuri thought. The girl covered her ears and as she repeated 'echo, echo, echo, echo, echo' her voice began to tremble and she lowered her head, the words growing quieter and quieter. She stayed like this before the audience clapped with excitement. Sayori's head perked up again and smiled to everyone, thanking them.

Next was Monika. Her performance was filled with a lot of smooth and gentle movements - her slim hands reaching into the distance and then falling back to the sides. Her legs were making slow and fearful steps, her expression changing as the words escaped her mouth. She was so beautiful and full of grace. Everyone was staring at her with sparkling eyes. When she was finished everyone clapped and complimented her.

It was Natsuki's turn. She didn't show much emotion and didn't really do anything. She made eye contact with everyone in the audience and sometimes looked at Yuri and in those moments the life in her voice was coming back. Somehow her face, voice, and words were changing whenever she looked at Yuri. Especially her eyes. Those eyes that usually stared into the distance or at the ground. Natsuki was definitely acting differently around the girl and she was starting to wonder why. At the end of her performance, she made a heart with her hands towards everyone.

It was Yuri's time to shine. She grabbed the red umbrella in her right hand and went up the podium. At the first sentence, she gently tossed a lock of her hair behind her ear. At the word 'bathing', she wrapped her arms around her chest, hugging herself. As her poetic words filled the area she grew closer to the audience.

 _"I open my umbrella, casting a shadow to shield me from visibility."_  With one swift motion, she opened the umbrella, hiding from everyone's gaze. After a few lines she drops it on the ground, her expression horrified. Her hands went to her chest, where they pressed against her heart for the rest of the performance. Loud clapping filled the room once again. The four girls thanked everyone and Monika suggested to them they try Natsuki's cupcakes before leaving.

The rest of the day Yuri spend in the club room, reading. Sometimes, she has caught herself getting lost in thought while reading, and one of those moments was now. Sayori and Monika left the room for a while to take a look at the other clubs as well and she was left alone with Natsuki. The girl didn't bother her because Yuri was obviously in another universe while reading. Her thoughts traveled back to the dream she had - the beach she was on with the pink haired girl. _'What could it mean? My mind was probably so tired it was showing me random things. But dreams usually have a meaning behind them. I think I had a book for that somewhere around here...'_  she rummaged through the cardboard boxes in the closet to find a thick purple-covered book with the words  _'The importance of Dreams'_. She flipped through some of the pages and searched for keywords.  _'Dreaming about a beach usually means that enjoyable moments are awaiting you.'_  , _'Dreaming about your friend means that you are taking an interest in their hidden side and traits.'_  ,  _'Big waves carry the meaning of a lot of things. Water is associated with strong emotions. If the wave is coming to you and you can't escape it, it means something important may happen in the future_ _.'_  . Yuri didn't bother to read the other meaning of different waves.  _'Something big is coming my way, something enjoyable and it includes Natsuki's hidden side.'_  This thought didn't leave her mind. Sometimes she was sneaking a look at the girl, knowing nothing will happen. It was out of curiosity. For some reason, she waited for the girl to say something. But she didn't. She was just quietly reading her manga as always. She wanted to know, to be prepared, to not screw things up. She was worried the girl will find about about her wicked side. That she wasn't always shy and polite. Only imagining Natsuki's face was enough to make her heart and stomach clench. Her face would probably be filled with disgust and disappointment. Her words would probably be hurtful, she would definitely call her a monster. And Yuri would be all alone again. Just her and her madness.

The day rolled itself fast and before she noticed it, the sun was already setting. People were leaving and the school slowly became quieter and quieter. Monika and Sayori returned and helped with the cleaning.

 _"Hey, Monika, did people say they want to join our club?"_  Sayori asked. Monika hesitated for a second and let out a sigh.

_"No, none of them took much of an interest. I guess it's still just the four of us."_

_"So we did all of that acting for nothing? Great."_  Natsuki mumbled. The girl was obviously pissed.

_"No, they told me the performances were great and we were really creative. Literature is not for everyone, so it's okay. I wouldn't feel good if I forced someone to join."_

They continued to clean in silence. The room was soon back to its usual boring look. On the gate, they parted ways and Yuri and Natsuki headed back home. The pink haired girl wasn't staying the night, so she only came by to get her stuff.

 _"I would be lying if I said I'm not worried about you, please be careful. If anything happens again, don't hesitate to call me, okay?"_  The tall girl spoke in a gentle tone. Natsuki just nodded.

_"Don't worry I will figure how to get home safe. Good night."_

And just like that, she headed home with quick steps that soon turned into running. Yuri watched as she disappeared into the distance before closing the door behind her.

 _"Now, what should I do?"_  She liked to talk to herself when she was alone. She changed into comfortable clothes and began to unpack the decorations. There wasn't enough space in the club's closet, so Yuri took them home. She put everything on the coffee table and looked at her living room. Humming a melody to herself she put the flowers on the shelves, counters, and tables. The candleholders found their place on the tables as well. She also put one in her room.

Redecorating was actually a good time passing activity. After having dinner, Yuri thought it was time to do her homework and write a poem for tomorrow. She worked on the dining table with the TV on. She didn't like working in silence sometimes. A little sound in the background was the perfect studying atmosphere.

An hour passed by like this and soon everything was sorted and done. She ripped a piece of paper from one of her notebooks and looked down at it. It was so white and clean Yuri didn't want to write on it, but it was a part of the club's activity to write a poem. She had a lot of things in her head but none of them was really worth writing a poem of. Since nothing was coming to her, she decided to write about her dream, but in a specific way of course.   
 **'The beach. Only the sound of the waves is heard. The breeze. It brushes my hair. The sand. Is squishy under my feet. The sea aroma. It calms me down. A silhouette. Someone I know. But do I really know them? Or am I being delusional? They come closer and closer... I finally recognize that face. What secrets does it hold behind its smile? I wake up. I wish it weren't just a dream.'**

With that, Yuri put the paper back in one of her notebooks and went to bed. But she couldn't fall asleep. She decided to text Natsuki, maybe it could help her ease her mind a bit.

 ** _[Hey, did you get home safe?]_** She stared at the screen for a minute before a text bubble appeared.

**_[Yes, thanks for asking. Why are you up this late?]_ **

_**[I can't fall asleep.]** _

**_[So you decided to text me?]_ **

**_[...yes.]_**  Yuri could imagine the girl's voice in her head as she read her messages.

**_[So, what did you want to talk about? I'm kind of bored and I can't seem to fall asleep as well.]_ **

Yuri thought about her answer for a moment.  ** _[Do you have any plans for the future?]_**

_**[Not really, or perhaps I don't know yet. When I was little I always wanted to own a small and cozy cafeteria or a bakery... How about you?]** _

**_[I haven't really thought about it, but one of my dreams is to write a book or a novel. Not very surprising of me, I know. But being a writer seems exciting.]_ **

**_[It doesn't have to be something big you know. If you do it with passion then that's all that matters. It sounds cliche, but it's pretty much the truth. Whatever it is I will be cheering you on.]_ **

Yuri smiled at her last sentence.

 _ **[Thank you. I will be there to help you as well.]**_   When she said it, she meant it. For a minute or so Natsuki didn't respond. When Yuri was about to then off her phone and finally go to sleep, the phone gave one last vibration.

**_[Do you want to go and see the tree after school?]_ **

_**[Yes, I would love to.]** _

And just like this, she went to sleep with a smile on her face. Now she had a reason to wait for tomorrow.


	8. A Date That Got Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki was waiting for todays after school. But things didn't go as planned. A guy that Natsuki starts to hate. A 'date' that got ruined. Did Natsuki finally realize her feelings? Probably. But she is very confused about all of this. She hopes she understands soon...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy I'm late again.  
> and I'm sorry again!  
> Regardless I hope you like it!

**_[Thank you. I will be there to help you as well.]_**  

That simple sentence gave Natsuki a feeling of relief. The future was something that scared her. She knew that soon she will have to find a job, a husband and then become a mother. She was afraid of graduating. She was afraid of growing up. _'What if I don't find a job?'_  , those kinds of thoughts made her stressed. But when Yuri said she will be there for her it made her feel less frustrated.

The sun was peaking through her curtains and Natsuki knew it was time for school. Rolling out of bed she rubbed her eyes, dressed and exited the house as soon as possible. She thought about stopping at Yuri's house and go to school with her, but she didn't want to annoy the girl. Finally arriving at the school building, her boring day began.

As usual, she slept through most of the classes. Who could blame her if they were so boring? When she wasn't sleeping in class she was either doodling in her notebook or writing her poem for the day. The last bell for the day rang and life filled Natsuki again. She quickly put her stuff in her bag and headed to Yuri's classroom. The hallways were already empty. The only sounds Natsuki could hear were her own footsteps and someone's voice in the distance. Long purple hair was soon in her vision. She opened her mouth to greet the girl but shut it tight very quickly.  _'What is she doing with that guy over there? Who is he?'_  Natsuki thought as she hid behind the wall near the stairs and spied on them. The guy was taller than Yuri and had brown hair. He looked both nervous and embarrassed. Natsuki frowned. Seeing Yuri with another guy made her feel angry and... something else she didn't know how to describe. For now, she was just staring at them with suspicion.

_"Hey, Yuri, are you free tomorrow? I was absent from school for a while and I need help with some of the material that I missed. I thought maybe you could help me... It's Saturday so I thought maybe you are free and... yeah."_

_'Oh my God he is so awkward he can't even say two sentences properly!'_  Natsuki clearly was angry.

_"Oh, you could have asked anyone else, but if you want me to help you tomorrow then that's okay. Where do we meet?"_

_"The cafeteria near the park. Is twelve at lunch okay with you?"_

_"Yes. Then I will be waiting for you. Bring all of your notebooks though, I will let you copy everything you need."_

_"Really? Thank you, Yuri! You are amazing!"_

_' 'Thank you, Yuri, you are amazing'!UGH, you are so... awkward! Annoying! The worst! How did you even get her attention! She is way out of your league! Loser! UGH! '  
_ The pink haired girl was losing her mind. This was so frustrating for her. She didn't want Yuri to speak to that guy. It made her stomach do unpleasant things and her heart was aching uncomfortably. She didn't want to look at them anymore and without a second thought, she stormed to the third floor, angrily opened the club room's door and plopped on one of the chairs.  _'Stupid loser, stupid situation, stupid words and excuses and...not so stupid Yuri. Of course, she can talk to anyone it's up to her but...why does it hurt?'_  She tried to shake off these thoughts and focus on what was in front of her - two giggling girls, as per usual. Natsuki always wondered why they always looked so happy and carefree. She suspected they did it on purpose to not bother the others. Monika seemed like the person to do this - the president that doesn't want to make the club's members worry. And Sayori was the typical high school girl that wants to have fun with her friends, but she probably felt sad and cried sometimes too. Everyone cries. Everyone feels pain. And in the end, everyone gets used to it.

Not long after her arrival, Yuri was the last to enter the club. As usual, they shared poems. The day was near its end and Natsuki had to clean the club room. A gentle tap on her shoulder grabbed her attention. The purple haired girl she didn't know she adored so much had a guilty look on her face.

_"Natsuki, I'm very sorry...but I have to go home early today and I can't stay with you...and go see the town. I have something important tomorrow so... Please forgive me!"_

Natsuki didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to feel. Betrayed? No, that's too much. Angry? Maybe a little. She gripped her right hand tightly behind her back and tried to give her face a calm face.

_"Sure, go ahead. It's okay."_

_'It's not okay.'_

_"Are you sure? Thank you, I will make it up to you!"_

_"I told you it's okay."_

_'It's not okay.'_

The girl excused herself and with hurried steps walked away and so did the other two. Natsuki was left alone in the room. For a while, she stared at the floor.  _'It's his fault! It's all that guy's fault! He occupied Yuri with his problems and now I can't finish the day properly! UGH, I hate boys so much! They are rude, awful, selfish, total losers! Screw this bullshit! I'm going to my tree alone! I don't need anyone to sit there with me!'_ Before finally exploding, she threw the wet rag she was supposed to clean the desks with on the floor, grabbed her bag and left the school building. Soon she was near her favorite tree. Natsuki dropped her bag and climbed up.

She let out a deep breath before screaming into the distance.

_"GUYS SUCK! I HATE THEM! THEY ARE RUDE, THEY SMELL BAD, THEY ARE CREEPY PERVERTS, THEY ARE SELFISH! ....and one of them took away my time with Yuri..."_

She was overreacting. She knew it. And she hated it. Could you blame her for feeling that way? She never liked males anyway. Her abusive father, those idiots in her class, that loser from Yuri's class. They all sucked and Natsuki hated them. She relaxed her body on the branch. She didn't care if it was high and if she fell and broke something. She just wanted to pout and be angry.

The sun was setting down and the town was drowning in the shadows of the night. The thought of home finally occurred to her. While slowly walking, she tried to distract herself with something, when suddenly she stopped in her tracks.  _'But of course! I should have thought about this earlier! I will ruin that date!'_  Suddenly her slow pace increased in speed and soon she was already home, locked in her room, rummaging through her closet.  _'I will need this...and this...the glasses are a must...and an oversized coat and jeans. Perfect!'_ She had a very strange outfit on her bed - a red blouse, jeans, oversized beige coat and a blonde wig with the sunglasses Yuri bought for her. Smirking, she put all of them on and looked at herself. _'I don't look like myself at all.'_ And this is exactly what she wanted. The wig was pretty old. She received it as a gift for Halloween. The coat was from her father's closet but he never really noticed it was missing. Gently folding everything she put her costume away and hopped into bed.

~~~

A loud ringing spread itself around the room. Natsuki woke up and after coming to her senses, she immediately changed into her costume. She carefully combed the wig to give it a more natural look. She brought a dollar or two with her and one of her father's newspapers. Checking herself one last time she exited the house and headed to the cafeteria. _'Let my mission begin!'_ She was both excited and nervous. On her way, a few people were staring at her.  _'Don't pay attention to them... It's okay... But what should I do if Yuri finds me out? Do I explain? Do I pretend she is talking to the wrong person and keep on acting?? Do I run??? This is very confusing... Let's just hope for the best.'_  She pushed the door open and searched for the pair. She found them near the corner of the cafeteria and sat on the table next to them. She was just as close so she could listen to their conversation, and far enough for them to no recognize her. Yuri was dressed in black jeans and a red top. As always, Natsuki admired her looks. They had a few notebooks on the small table and were discussing school things. The guy, whose name was apparently David asked Yuri a few questions and the girl gave him accurate definitions and ways to do it. Natsuki couldn't see his reaction because of the newspaper, but she was pretty sure he wasn't paying attention to what Yuri told him and was instead just staring at the girl.  _'What a creep... She came here to help you and you deceived her with your stupidity just to ask her on a meaningless date! At least listen to her!'_  Natsuki was gripping the newspaper so tightly she could feel it ripping apart. Lost in thoughts, she almost didn't notice the waitress asking for her order.

_"Um... What would you like?"_

_"Water please!"_  Natsuki lowered her voice which sounded funny and fake, but as long as Yuri didn't find her out it was okay. The woman only looked at her suspiciously, nodded and went back. Sighing, Natsuki focused on the conversation again.

_"Wow, Yuri! You are really smart!"_

_' 'Wow Yuri you are really smart!' Really? Oh, my God, he is so...'_

_"Thank you again for helping me out, I'm sure you have other things to do.."_

'Of course, she does you dumbass!'

_"No, it's okay! I'm glad to be of help!"_

_'He doesn't deserve her kindness and time at all! He doesn't even look like he likes her! I bet because he is so hopeless and lonely he asked her out! Stupid lonely virgin! I like Yuri more than you do!_

_...What?!_

_No, wait wait..._

_I don't like... I do but...'_

Natsuki felt her chest tightening. She didn't know why she thought that. She did like Yuri but... How? She always wanted to be close to the girl... She felt safe when Yuri hugged her, she felt safe in her embrace. She liked Yuri's soft smile, the fact that she was taller than Natsuki and her figure, her long violet hair and those deep purple eyes. Her kind words.

 _'I like everything about her._  
I like her.  
Shit.'

Her phone distracted her thoughts. _'Monika? Shoot, what does she want? Her timing is simply 'perfect'. '_  Natsuki got up and went to the bathroom and locked herself in one of the stalls. She tried to keep her voice down.

_"Monika? What do you want?"_

_"Oh, I was wondering since, you know, there will be a short holiday and Sayori said her father has a big tent we can use for camping! She invited the literature club on a camping trip! What do you say? I still have to ask Yuri... Is she with you by any chance?"_

_'Yes, she is the table next to mine because I'm spying on her...'_

_"Um, no. You have to ask her, but I'm sure she will say yes. She likes the nature and stuff so - "_

_"Natsuki? Is that you? Are you in there?"_  A voice she knew very well called her name. Natsuki couldn't move or speak. She froze in place.  _'You. Have. To. Be. Kidding. Me. Shitfuckohgodwhy! I swear if there is a God up there he sure hates me... Why now of all times?!'_

 _"Um, Natsuki what's -_ " She cut the call line and pressed her arm to her mouth. ' _Maybe if I don't make a sound she will think she mistook the person.'_

 _"Natsuki?"_  The girl knocked on the door.  _'Apparently, it's not going to work... What do I do?'_  She closed her eyes for a moment. She had no other choices. In one quick motion, she opened the door and rushed out of the bathroom, leaving the cafe at incredible speed. She kept on running and running until she finally reached home.

 _'How could this happen? How?! Why did this happen?! She probably hates me now! She knows I was spying on her with that David guy! She thinks I'm creepy! She hates me! I can't go to school! I can't face her! ...ugh... I want to die. Life sucks and so does all of this... But why does it hurt so much?'_  She thought. Why did her chest sink down? Why did her stomach clench when she saw Yuri with that boy? Why did she feel like she had needles poking her nerves? Why? She hugged her knees and buried her face in them. Slowly, salty tears ran down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them off her face.  _'I shouldn't cry! I must not cry! I can't cry! Why do I not want to see Yuri with other guys? If it's normal for a girl to like a guy and for a guy to like a girl, then why do I feel betrayed and cry when I see her with someone else? Am I selfish? Jealous? Crazy? Maybe... Either way, I can't face her. I will skip school for a day or two...or three.'_

As her tears dried she stripped out of her silly clothes and went to bed. She hugged the pillow tightly. It was cold and lonely in her bed. It wasn't even that late and she still went to bed to sleep. But her mind and heart won't let her calm down. With a grunt, she lifted herself up and looked out of the window. The sun hasn't even set yet. Sighing, she grabbed her phone and exited the house once more. This time she took a random direction and just walked around the town. She tried to distract herself and brush off the thoughts of today's disaster by humming to herself.

Soon she was out of town.

Out of reach. 

Out of the trouble.

She felt free and comfortable.

But still alone.

Still confused.

Still not sure about her feelings.

The sense of time left her and the only that mattered to her was the stars in the night sky.

 _' "This is Orion. And this is Andromeda and Pegasus. And over there is Cassiopeia." '_  She remembered Yuri's words.

 _'Without you, I'm lost here.'_  Natsuki thought.

Sighing she went back home, sneaking through the window. The covers were cold and it made her feel lonely. She missed the feeling of the girl next to her. She buried her face in the pillow.

_'Honestly what is wrong with me...?'_

A sudden buzz distracted her. A message from Yuri.

**[Natsuki, please, explain to me at once what happened today.]**

_'She is pissed. I assumed. But what do I say? If I can't explain it to myself, then how do I explain it to her? Maybe I shouldn't answer. Yeah, it's better if I don't... I will just go to sleep.'_

Shutting down her phone she went to sleep with a sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on my way to the next chapter! I was just REALLY really busy these past days and shit has been all over the place and my wig flew to another dimension bc of this shit.  
> But I will try to make it on time (2-3/4 days)!  
> THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND I APPRECIATE IT IF YOU STILL FOLLOW THIS!


	9. A Death Glare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri is very worried about Natsuki and decides to visit her. Now she knows the true monster that her father is. To Natsuki, the visit was a mistake...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I'm single but I had some things planned for today with my friends - we put on wigs, accessories and danced to random music. We looked stupid af but we had a lot of fun time so I don't regret any of it.  
> How did you spend your Valentine's day?  
> *makes herself look like she intended the chapter to come on 14th bc it's valentine's day but is actually a trash and so didn't make it on time...but it fits right??*

Yuri was confused.  
Confused and surprised.  
And mainly shocked.  
The whole day was crazy and the events were still playing in her head.  
She was playing with her hair while rethinking it all.  
 _'I went to the cafe to help David. I went to the bathroom and heard Natsuki's voice from one of the stalls. She was talking with someone. When I called her name she didn't answer and then she suddenly busted open the door, ran past me and vanished from the place. She was dressed in an awful way. I still don't get it. She hasn't even answered my texts...'_

Yuri was getting worried. She was in class but she couldn't focus. Gently biting her bottom lip and nervously tapping her pencil on the table she stared at the board with empty eyes. The bell rang and the girl headed to the club room, hoping she could approach Natsuki the right way and receive an explanation. Swinging the door open she quickly looked around - first on the floor near the closet, then to the row of desks. She wasn't there. Yuri became even more worried.

_"Hey, have you seen Natsuki?"_

The other girls turned to face her with questioning gazes. Monika looked a little worried as well. It was normal for the club's president.

_"No, she still hasn't come here. I thought she was with you because you guys always seem to come here together."_

_"Maybe she doesn't feel well and decided to stay home?"_

_'But then why didn't she answer me..?'_

Sighing, she shared her poem for the day and headed home. It wasn't long before she reached it and closed herself in again. She couldn't focus on studying again. All that was in her head was Natsuki. She was almost annoyed that she couldn't do anything else but think of the girl. She was pacing back and forth on the first floor, thinking  _'Why? Did I do something wrong?? Did I say something weird??? What if she is angry with me?! What if I'm just annoying her?!? I... I don't know! I don't want to lose her...as a friend! She has been really nice to me these past few weeks... I wonder if it's already a month... But if she is being so nice why would she suddenly distance herself from me? It's probably me... I'm the problem... Maybe she sensed I'm weird and I did something unconsciously... It's always like this! I'm always the problem!! I can't become a better person! No matter how much I want it, no matter how much I try, it's always the same! The outcome is the same!!'_  she suddenly dropped on the floor and hugged her knees. Tears ran down her cheeks. The room was starting to fill with sobs, choking, quiet cries and mumbled words.  _'Nobody likes me! Nobody wants to be friends with me!! Natsuki, Monika, and Sayori are probably faking it... Why am I like this?! I can't make myself happy, how did I even though of making her happy and protect her...! I'm horrible... hopeless... worthless... twisted...ugly...mad...insane... fucked up...I'm nothing but a mess of all these things! I'm a chaotic monster... And if I want to protect my. . . friends, I have to stay away from them...but I can't! I'm so needy and clingy it's pathetic! I hate myself... I hate my life... I hate it all! Someone, just... Save me...'_

...

Another day passes and there still was no sign of Natsuki around.

_'I should go visit her... If she doesn't answer my messages nor pick up when I call her, then she might really be sick... Okay, I will visit her after school today!'_

With impatience, Yuri waited for the last bell to ring. The moment her ears recognized the so familiar 'drr' sound, she dashed out of the room. With quick and worried steps she headed to Natsuki's house. She forgot to tell Monika she won't be attending today, but that didn't matter right now. Reaching the place, she nervously knocked on the door. There was a short moment of silence before she heard loud steps coming her way. Suddenly, the door opened, revealing a very tall, muscular man, obviously drunk. Yuri was a little scared but managed to speak aloud.

_"Good evening sir, I am Natsuki's friend. She hasn't shown up to school in a few days and I was wondering what happened to her..."_

_"She hasn't been... going to... school?! What d'ya mean?! Every day she tells me she's off to school and then returns! Are you trying to pull something on me?! You think you are smart or somethin'?!"_

_"No, I'm not! I'm just worried about my friend-"_

_"She has no friends! She is lonely and she will always be! She is a very bad and worthless daughter. She is-"_

_"How dare you speak of your own child like this?! She is nothing of the sort! She is very kind and thoughtful! She is very smart and funny too! You are making her suffer! She told me about all the horrible things you did to her! What parent are you?!"_

_"So that damn brat told you... She is so pathetic... No wonder her mother left her!"_

_'This man is impossible! If I had known sooner I...'_

Yuri tried to go past the man that was in her way and go to Natsuki's room, but he didn't let her.

_"Just, let me see her-!"_

_"You aren't going anywhere!"_

Natsuki's dad grabbed her by the hands, his grip strong and tight. He either tried to push her out of the house or forcefully take her inside. Out of panic, Yuri quickly stepped on his toes. For a moment he let go of her, only to slap her across the face. The slap was strong and it made Yuri fall on the floor, but she quickly stood up to her feet again, rubbing her left cheek.

_"You bitch!"_

_"You are a weakling! You are not a man if you hit a woman! Be ashamed of yourself!"_

_"Shut it!"_

He went to her and to the chance of her having her guard down to apprehend her. Her hands were now on her back. She was almost sure the man was about to break them. She let out a scream of pain and tried to shake him off, but without success. He almost whispered something in her ear.

_"Now that I think about it, you look really cute..."_

His free hand went to Yuri's stomach to rub a finger up to her breast and down, teasing her.

 _"NO, LET ME GO!"_  She screamed, terrified. She didn't want this drunkard to touch her. It made her feel sick.  _'Disgusting pervert! How can Natsuki live with this scum?!'_  Suddenly, there was a creaking sound. They both looked up to the stairs. Natsuki was standing there. Despite her small figure, she was looking enormous and scary, menacing even. She was looking down her father with a gaze that was furious, cold and sharp. She looked like she was about to shout, but her voice came out calm, low and clear.

_"Don't you. Fucking. Dare touch her. Let her go this instant."_

_"Look who showed up. I heard you haven't been going to school, and that's a bad thing. Bad girls should be punished."_

_"Try me, son of a bitch."_

_"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE BRAT!"_

The man was still holding Yuri. He was hesitating whether he should let her go and go to Natsuki, or whether he should keep his grip on the purple haired girl.

 _"I'm repeating for the last time. Let. Her. Go."_  She looking at her father dead in the eye. The man was very angry. As if reading through the situation, Natsuki shot a look at Yuri and with her lips told her to run. To Yuri, this happened very slowly, while in reality, it was a very fast situation. The moment the pink haired girl spelled the word 'run' , her father let go of Yuri and headed up the stairs. Natsuki didn't waste any second of it and jumped out of the window from the second floor. It wasn't that high because if she was escaping through the window before, then it mustn't be a big of a difference in this intense situation. Still stunned and scared, Yuri didn't realize the familiar softness of a small hand, grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her out of the house, sprinting in a random direction. The man from behind was screaming something, but she couldn't hear it. She could only hear her heartbeat, heavy breathing and running steps.

After coming to her senses, she realized they were at her place. Natsuki was still holding her hand, waiting for Yuri to unlock the door. Getting inside, Natsuki shouted.

_"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! DIDN'T I TELL YOU MY FATHER IS USUALLY DRUNK AND BEATS PEOPLE?! WHY DID YOU COME HERE?! WHY DID YOU PUT YOURSELF AT RISK?!"_

The girl was obviously angry and pissed but also worried, judging by her eyes. Her hands were curled into fists as if she wanted to punch something. She stared at Yuri, glimpses of that death glare she had before. Shouting wasn't in Yuri's nature, so she tried to speak normally, though her voice was cracking and shaking. She felt like she would break down and cry for upsetting Natsuki.

_"Because you didn't answer my texts and didn't pick up when I called you, so I got worried and decided to visit! Is that bad?!"_

_"I guess no...but-"_

_"If you actually answered me I wouldn't have come! Why didn't you answer me?! Why?!"_

The girl didn't answer. Again. It was all silence. She was hiding something. There was something that was troubling her. But she kept silent. Natsuki bit her lower lip and looked to the side, trying to hide her guilt. Her hands and shoulders relaxed and she let a sigh.

_"I can't tell you."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I can't explain it to myself either. But you have all the right to be mad at me. I understand. I made you worry and I'm sorry."_

_"No, I'm not angry or mad. Yes, I was worried sick but... I can't be angry at you. I could never be. But you could have at least told me it's nothing to worry or to just drop it, or even change the topic as if I didn't say anything."_

_"You are right. I could have. But I couldn't bring myself to... I'm sorry... I will never forgive that bastard. I will surely make him pay. Whatever it takes I will make him regret everything."_ Her gaze darkened again. Yuri could feel her blood freeze. If Natsuki lifted her face a little more to look at her directly, Yuri would definitely shake in fear. That death bearing gaze... It scared her.

_'Natsuki's hidden side... But this wasn't something... enjoyable? It was something big, but not enjoyable... What is happening...'_

Silence filled the room for a while before Natsuki sighed and said.

_"Now I should go back home and take the punishment I deserve for being a bad girl.."_

She laughed as her head dropped, hiding her face from Yuri. Her voice was quiet. She turned to the door and tried to open it, but Yuri stopped her by grabbing her by the elbow.

_"You can't! You will get hurt!"_

_"Do I look like I care?"_

_"You look in pain to me... And I can tell you don't want to go back... It's not the right thing to do, Natsuki!"_ Saying the girl's name should leave a sweet taste in her mouth but now it sounded different. Almost as if she never referred to her by name.

 _"I hate it how well you can read me...like the open book that I am.."_  She chuckled. She was still staring at the floor, afraid to look at the tall girl. 

Yuri's grip tightened. 

She wanted the girl to stay. 

To be safe and to stop getting hurt. 

She tried to say it, but the words won't come out. 

Her actions expressed her thoughts better, so she hoped Natsuki could read them.

_"Let go... please..."_

Her grip tightened again.

_"I beg of you..."_

No verbal answer from Yuri. Her eyes were getting wet. There was something in her throat and her stomach clenched. Finally, through a silent sob, she mumbled.

_"...no."_

Natsuki finally turned towards her. Her eyes were wide with surprise at first, but then they softened. Suddenly, Yuri slowly let go of her. Her hands fell to her sides.

_"You should stay here...for the night...and the next one, and the one after that... Because you can't go back! I won't let you go back there and get hurt again! You don't deserve it! And you shouldn't let it happen! I will... try to prevent such things from happening ever again!"_

Natsuki was staring at her. 

Yuri knew it. 

It's probably because she said something weird.

But she was afraid of looking up from the ground. 

She didn't want the girl to see her sad and broken eyes.

_"...you promise?"_

As if the girl read her mind, Yuri's head quickly perked up to look Natsuki in the eyes. As those words played in her head, she didn't care about how her face looked anymore. She knew it wasn't beautiful, but it showed her true emotions which wasn't something that happened often. At that moment, she was still thinking of what exactly to say without blurting out something unnecessary, so she just stood there staring at Natsuki with red and glossy eyes. After a few shuddered inhales, she said.

_"Yes..! It's a promise!"_

She felt like a million iron weights fell from her heart. 

Her chest was now lighter after saying this.

A small smile spread itself on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waits for people to hate her because she doesn't keep her promises*  
> *continues to live with it*  
> *is used to people losing their trust in her*  
> *awkward smile*


	10. This isn't friendship...is it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's friendship, right? It's normal, right? 'It's normal' my ass... Natsuki's feelings are a mess and she is very confused. At the end of the day, a hug can fix all of this bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised myself I will post this on my birthday (18th of February), but I fell asleep, I'm sorry!  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy ;-;

Natsuki was crying again.

She hated it.

It made her feel weak and she hated being weak. Ever since her mom left, she couldn't stop hurting and crying.

When her father was mean to her, she cried. When things didn't go her way, she cried. When people said rude things, she cried.

Her whole life, these past years she has done nothing but crying. She was tired of it. She hated being weak. And most of all, she hated showing it.

Especially to Yuri.

If the girl ever saw her cry it would be really embarrassing for Natsuki. It would make her look stupid because she tends to show how tough she is. The persona she was striving for was bossy and proud. But she was nothing of the sort and at the end of the day, the play she was putting up for everyone to see was meaningless. Because, if she can't be like this in reality, if she couldn't believe that she actually has this type of character, then nobody would be able to believe her. Nobody would fail for her pathetic play and actually assume she is something more than a little girl.

She hated herself. Her short height. Her childlike features and body. Her 'cute' face and hair. Her 'cute' clothes. She hated being called cute. She didn't want to be cute! She wanted to be...like Yuri. That's why she admired her so much. Her body, face, way of speaking, obvious manners and dressing style.

Yuri was mature.

Something Natsuki wanted to be, but would never be. Yuri and Monika were similar in a way, but Yuri felt more...special. That's why she looked up to her and tried not to embarrass herself in front of her. She didn't want the other girl to see how pathetic and weak she actually was. Though if everyone could see through her, why wouldn't Yuri be able to too?

The past few days she didn't do much. Natsuki knew her father would beat her if she didn't go to school, so when the clock striked seven in the morning, she changed into her uniform, exited the door with the words _'I'm off to school dad'_  and then returned back to her room through the window. At least it didn't raise any suspicion in him. Of course, she knew she had to go to school at some point and face Yuri but while she was at home she thought of what exactly she would say to the girl. How would she explain her strange behavior? Will she play dumb and say it wasn't her at the cafe?? Heck, she didn't even know if the girl really figured her out. Yes, she did call her by name in the stalls, but Natsuki didn't answer her after that. And then the thought of liking Yuri...

Yes, Natsuki did like her but...as a friend.

_When you see a friend your heart pounds with happiness, right?_

_When they tell you a compliment you feel warm on the inside, right?_

_When they smile at you, your face gives them a smile by itself, right?_

_'Like hell it is right... I'm just trying to find excuses... I'm just trying to convince myself I don't like her...I don't know if this sucks or if it's awesome... Either way, it's really confusing and it hurts a lot...'_

It didn't matter how much she tried to hold her emotions in, because here she was - on the verge of tears, her heart aching in her chest and her knees shaking. Yuri grabbed her by the elbow when she said she had to leave. She didn't want to. Like hell she would return home where certain death awaited her. Not only did she lie to her father, but she also called him  _'son of a_ _bitch'_  . He wasn't going to simply beat her and trash talk her, he would most definitely strangle her to death or something even more horrible.

She was hoping Yuri would stop her from going home, and she did. Natsuki somehow predicted it because of Yuri's habit of always helping people. Even if she didn't stop her, she could always ask Monika or Sayori to stay the night.

Right now though, the situation was almost unbearable. Yuri was holding tight on to her and refused to let go no matter how many times Natsuki asked her. She felt like crying, but she told herself she mustn't cry. She should hold it in like always, but the girl in front of her was making things very difficult. Natsuki was afraid of how Yuri's eyes would look at her for crying. She would probably look pathetic but at the same time, she felt...more like she knew that the girl wouldn't say anything. That she wouldn't judge her for being true to her emotions. Because everyone cried sometimes. Because sometimes it was already too much to handle it all inside. And at times like this, the situation was similar to a glass breaking down on the ground, spilling the liquid that represented the negative emotions, on someone else that didn't deserve it or had anything to do with it.

But Natsuki's case was nothing of the sort. With the years she got used to holding it all inside and never letting it go. Because she didn't have a friend to talk to. Only an abusive father that never said a word to her. Now that she thought about it, this time was the first time she actually talked to him and he responded. She wasn't even sure if that could be considered as a conversation or a dialogue, but it was a progress of some sort. It definitely wasn't proper, but it was something.

Natsuki would never ever forgive him for hurting Yuri. She could care less if it was another woman, but it was Yuri - the girl she...liked and wanted to protect. In the end, she failed, but at least they got away quickly. Her father was a predictable person, so Natsuki angered him on purpose so he would come to her and give Yuri time to escape. But Natsuki was very surprised when the girl didn't even flinch after being let go of. She was probably too shocked to move a muscle.

Right now the one who couldn't move a muscle was Natsuki. She just listened to the words that Yuri said, thinking of the right thing to say. Talking with Yuri always made her feel like she was writing a test - she had to say the right thing, or else she would fail.

_"You should stay here...for the night...and the next one, and the one after that... Because you can't go back! I won't let you go back there and get hurt again! You don't deserve it! And you shouldn't let it happen! I will... try to prevent such things from happening ever again!"_

_'Yet you put yourself in more danger because of coming here...'_  she thought.

But these words.

They did something weird to Natsuki.

They ringed in her head like the school bell did every time class was starting and ending. It was as if they filled the empty spot in her heart.

They gave Natsuki hope.

Hope so strong that made her look up from the ground, the feeling of insecurity disappearing. For a moment, the pure feeling of hope overwhelmed her, and words from inside her heart came out aloud.

_"...you promise?"_

Yuri's head quickly lifted itself up to look Natsuki in the eyes. The girl was in the same stage as her - on the edge of tears.

Their red eyes met and that's when Natsuki's mask fell off. Without a doubt, she felt like the girl could see through her. She felt like the girl could see what was tormenting her, she felt like Yuri understood her. She let it all sink down and show her truest self to the girl. She couldn't find the judgment in her gaze and neither were her words hurtful.

All these years she just wanted a friend.

Someone who could understand her, someone to help her, to cheer her up, to tell her everything is going to be okay, to believe in her and most importantly to love her. Though she knew she wasn't a great person and wasn't so loveable, she wanted to be appreciated. And after all this misery, pain and struggle, the dark rainy clouds and fog magically lifted up, revealing the warm smile and pure eyes of the girl that was in front of her - Yuri.

Yuri saved her.

Her gentleness and kindness pierced through the darkness and showed Natsuki the bright colors of the world around her. The sounds of the birds and the beautiful flowers. It was all so... different. Natsuki couldn't possibly explain this all to Yuri without the girl thinking she was weird but she wanted to express her gratitude towards her.

But she didn't have enough courage. Because she was still a coward.

After receiving a confirmation from Yuri, she exhaled and relaxed. She brought her hands to her eyes to rub the small drops of tears that threatened to fall down any moment now. Suppressing her feelings and urge to jump on the girl's neck and hug her, she simply continued to rub her eyes, though they were already dry. She thought Yuri was about to say something when her phone rang. The girl hesitated for a moment before picking it up. Natsuki could hear Monika's voice on the other line. After hanging up, Yuri's attention returned back to Natsuki.

_"What did she call you for?"_

_"She told me Sayori's dad has a tent which we can use to go camping next weekend. She mentioned that you didn't give her an answer when she called you on... Saturday."_

_"Yeah... right..."_

_"So it was you back then?"_

_"Yes..."_

_"What were you doing there? Dressed like this?"_

_'I can't keep running away from this forever... Apparently, the Gods want me to confess...'_

_"To tell you the truth, I was spying on your date with that guy. Don't ask me why I just did it!"_

Natsuki averted her eyes from Yuri. She kind of knew the reaction the girl would give her, but to her surprise, it was different. The pink haired girl looked back at Yuri.

_'Is she... blushing?! What for? I did something... really weird and she is blushing?! What in the world...'_

Suddenly, a laugh escaped from Yuri's lips. Her cheeks were bright pink. Her eyes were kind and lively.

 _"What are you laughing about?"_  Natsuki asked.

Suddenly, she felt a pair of hands pulling her by the shoulders. The girl pulled Natsuki towards her, embracing her in a gentle hug. The feeling of not wanting to pull away appeared again. Yuri's long hands around her shoulders, her soft and warm chest, the fact that she was taller than her made her feel protected and her steady breathing. She wasn't used to being hugged, so this feeling was unknown to her. Natsuki felt like if she didn't enjoy this moment to the fullest every time it happened, it would disappear forever. So she hurried to wrap her arms around Yuri's waist. She was almost clinging to her, mostly to the feeling of affection. Well, it didn't matter when she felt safe, right?

The purple haired girl soon broke the silence that has cast itself upon them.

_"I'm glad you are safe, Natsuki."_

There was something more to that simple sentence.

 _'Yeah, me too..._ ' she didn't bother to say it out loud.

_'Like hell this is friendship I'm feeling... Things would be easier if it was though...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm off to the next chapter, I hope you enjoyed!


	11. An Ubreakable Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter where everything comes to an end.

_"To tell you the truth, I was spying on your date with that guy. Don't ask me why I just did it!"_

Yuri wasn't expecting that.

Those words, they filled her with a strange feeling.

_'Is she... jealous? No, it's stupid of me to assume that...but, what if it's true? Does that mean she was jealous of me going out with a guy? Then does that mean she is jealous of seeing me with anyone else but her?! Is that good or bad? No, there's no way that it's bad! Or maybe she was just worried about me...'_

Yuri didn't know how to deal with all of this. It was frustrating her. She liked being with Natsuki the most and when the girl suddenly distanced herself from her she got scared. She thought it was her fault for it. She thought she said or did something weird and it scared the girl off. The thought of not being able to talk to Natsuki, to see her smile and bright eyes, hearing her voice...she would miss her presence. The feeling when Natsuki was next to her. Whenever they walked side by side or slept next to each other, even if it seemed abnormal, Yuri felt this strange radiating feeling from Natsuki - warmth. But it was a specific type of warmth. The kind of warmth that you can sense from both friend and family.

But one thing has been on Yuri's mind for a long time.

Her fast heartbeat whenever Natsuki was near, her throat drying when Natsuki asked her something, her stomach clenching whenever the girl was talking to someone else, her heart aching with pain whenever she couldn't see the girl every day. It was weird and Yuri didn't know what to do.  _'Is this the 'love' I have read in books about? Then, is this jealousy I'm feeling? Then, this means I'm in love with... Natsuki?!'_

Yuri stopped to think for a moment.

_'Natsuki probably did this out of jealousy, right? If I'm not mistaken of course, but there is no way she would be jealous of me being with someone else right? Then, why did she do it? If she really is jealous then...does that mean she likes me?! Of course, I'm not sure about my feelings yet but... I'm glad. At least I know she doesn't hate me or anything!'_

That alone made her feel at peace. Overwhelmed with emotion, she felt the need to touch Natsuki. She could see the pain in the girl's eyes, how scared and worried she was. And Yuri wanted to comfort her. But she knew actions speak better than words, so she just decided to hug the short girl. It was something she wasn't used to - hugging or being hugged, so whenever she did such intimate contact with someone, it made her heart race. Doing it with Natsuki made it beat faster than usual though. She reached out with her hands and gently pulled the girl towards her by the shoulders, embracing her. Yuri adored how perfectly Natsuki fit in her arms. It wasn't long before she felt the girl's slim hands around her waist.

_'But a girl liking another girl is wrong, right?... But is it really?'_

True, society doesn't accept this kind of love. For most people, it's wrong and disgusting, but in a relationship, love is what matters, right? If that's how the things roll, Yuri might as well not be so worried in the future. But she still wasn't sure about her feelings.

Did she really like Natsuki in this way?

She had to find out as soon as possible.

If Natsuki really did spy on them because of jealousy, then this means she likes Yuri, right? It means she cares and is worried about her, right?

She shook her head and decided to not think about this right now. For now, she focused on the girl in her embrace.

After letting go of each other, they went upstairs and decided to sleep because it was an exhausting day and both needed some rest.

_'Now it all feels the way it should be...'_

Yuri thought before closing her eyes and drowning in the world of dreams.

~~~

The alarm clock rang, spreading its annoying sound in the room. The morning proceed at its usual pace - Yuri and Natsuki woke up, got dressed, had breakfast and went to school. Together.

After arriving at the gate, they separated to go to their own classes.

Yuri was always focused in class, even when she had something to think about, she always paid attention. Even when she thought about Natsuki and her feelings, she was still focused. Thinking about the girl put a smile on her face. 

Classes were over and without a second thought Yuri excited the classroom and went to Natsuki's. It was already a habit of hers - going to the club room with her. Suddenly, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. When Yuri turned around, she found David looking at her.

_"Oh, hi, David. Is something the matter?"_

_"No, I just wanted to ask you about that day at the cafe. Why did you suddenly run away?"_

Yuri's body tensed. She completely forgot how she would explain this to the boy. She tried to make up a lie and escape this conversation as quickly as possible.

_"Um... I just had something important I forgot to do and I'm really sorry I didn't inform you of it beforehand! I hope you are not mad..."_

_"No, I could never be! It's okay, at least I know you didn't run away because you don't like me or anything. Haha.."_

_'I don't even interact with him that often, so I couldn't possibly hate him for anything.'_ Yuri thought and then excused herself. It's not like she didn't want to talk to him or anything, she didn't want to upset Natsuki. Jealousy is a dangerous feeling, it can drive people crazy and make them delusional. Plus, she felt uncomfortable talking to the boy after what happened. As she turned around the corner she found Natsuki leaning against the wall, her lips in a small pout but her face relaxed. Startled, Yuri blushed a little, assuming she was listening to their conversation. Again.

_"Were you listening?"_

_"Maybe~ . Even so, we should go to the club room. C'mon, let's go!"_  Natsuki said in a singsong voice. Arriving there, they were surprised to see that only Sayori was there.

 _"Where is Monika?"_ Yuri asked. Just as the words escaped her, the door opened and Monika practically flew in there, panting.

 _"Speaking of the devil..."_ Said Natsuki.

 _"I'm sorry, I had study hall and I had to inform the light music club I won't be participating today."_ She said in between sharp pants and inhales. After catching her breath, she clapped her hands together.  _"Today, we won't be sharing poems! Today, we are going to discuss the weekend! I called you all beforehand just in case I don't forget, because you know me, an airhead~ !"_

 _"Mmhm, my father said we have a tent and he suggested we could use it to go camping this weekend! It will be a super - duper experience! Don't you think so? We could watch the stars on the night sky, make food ourselves and enjoy nature!"_ Sayori exclaimed happily.

An idea came to Yuri's head at those words that made her instantly agree to the idea.

 _"I think so too! I would love to go, what about you, Natsuki?"_  Yuri's eyes flashed at her, full with hope that the girl would agree. The moment their eyes met, Natsuki's brows furrowed for a moment, before sighing and saying.

_"It wouldn't hurt... I guess."_

The three girls giggled. After that they gave each other tasks - Sayori would bring the tent and its necessities, Natsuki and Yuri would prepare the food and Monika's task was organizing the trip - there were special buses to drive them to the wanted location. Monika informed everyone to be at the station at nine o'clock in the morning. 

After preparing everything, the two girls packed their stuff. Natsuki had left some of her clothes in Yuri's house before, so she didn't have anything to worry about. Putting their backpacks near the door for tomorrow, they went to sleep.

Today was one of those rare nights, where the purple-haired beauty didn't think of anything before bed. Recently, her sleep has been disturbed by different thoughts about... certain things. But today she finally got some strong sleep.

Perhaps, too strong.

The morning came and the sun spread itself in the room. Yuri's slumber couldn't be disturbed and she could rest for another hour or two, but an intense pain made her open her eyes. The sight she woke up to was the pink haired girl she adored so much, gripping her very tightly by the shoulders. Yuri felt like the girl was about to break them, considering how hard she was gripping and shaking them.

 _"YURI! Wake up!! We are gonna be late damn it!!!"_ After noticing that the girl has opened her eyes, Natsuki released her very slowly and sighed.  _"Get dressed and come downstairs. You have 10 minutes!"_

_'It's already this late? I refreshed and good but...'_

The girl began to put her camo jeans and black sweater on, combed her hair, washed her face and then went to the kitchen where Natsuki was waiting for her at the table. The girl was dressed in a pink skirt, white top, and white thigh high socks. She was swinging her legs under the table, an irritated pout on her face. Yuri hurried down to sit opposite of her and both began to eat. After eating the pancakes in practically one bite, the girls put on their jackets, grabbed their bags and exited the house. With quick steps that turned into running once in a while, they got to the station, almost on time. In the distance, Monika and Sayori were already putting their things on the back side of the microbus. As they arrived at the station with heavy panting, they hurried to put their bags in the back as well. Monika sat next to the driver and the other three girls sat in the back seats. The trip to a specific spot somewhere in the not so nearby forest was around an hour long. After Monika thanked the man, he drew off into the distance and the girls were left alone. They walked another mile or two before they found a nice place to put up their tent. It resembled something like a small bottomland with soft, fresh green grass, surrounded by big rocks, the view in front revealed a beautiful and lively river. Yuri inhaled the cold air and then exhaled. It was very calming. The atmosphere. The feeling of outside. It was... beautiful. Being there with her special someone made it even better. There was a short moment where all the girls just stared into the distance and enjoyed the sight.

After that, Yuri and Monika set up the tent, Natsuki set up the food and Sayori set the campfire. There was a plenty of time before the night came around, so the girls decided to take a walk around the small forest. They went to the river and sat there for a while. Sayori was extremely excited and energetic. She was jumping around in the grass and she even took her shoes off to feel the cold water, while Natsuki wasn't really interested in doing anything. She was just sitting down on the ground, slowly tracing the stem of the nearby flowers. Her face was relaxed and bored. Monika was happily taking pictures of everyone as memory. Most of her attention went to Sayori since she was doing all sorts of things that were worth a photo. Yuri was sitting next to Natsuki, reading a book. Not long after, a few drops of cold water landed on Yuri's face. From the surprise, she let out a small sound, familiar to a squeaky toy. She lifted her head form the book and closed it so it doesn't get wet, and looked around in confusion. The first thing she spotted was the girl next to her - her face and clothes wet, an annoyed expression on her face. She was looking at the peach haired girl in front of them, who was giggling and was playfully looking at Natsuki.

 _"You want it or what?"_  The pink haired girl asked with annoyance. There was no answer from the other girl. She simply splashed Natsuki with some more water.

 _"Oh. It's on."_  She slowly got up, rolled up her sleeves, kicked her shoes off and stepped into the river as well. Sayori slowly started walking backward, her hands in the water, ready to splash the girl again. They were staring into each other's eyes with serious expressions, ready to dodge or splash the other. For a moment, Sayori stopped in her tracks and so did Natsuki, two feet apart from each other. Monika was hungrily waiting for someone to do something so she could strike a photo. Yuri put her book down to look at the two. She thought they looked like children. Well, both of them looked like children because they were short, so it was understandable why she thought that. But their behavior was also childlike. The girls stayed like this for a few seconds before Sayori finally withdrew her hands back and then quickly lifted them up towards Natsuki. The girl was now soaked wet. But that wasn't the end of Sayori's 'attack'. While the pink haired girl tried to get rid of the water from her eyes so she could see, Sayori jumped forward and captured Natsuki between her arms in a big hug. She knew the girl didn't like being hugged much by people... except for Yuri. As Monika was taking a picture of Natsuki's annoyed face and Sayori's big smile, the purple haired girl hurried to give each of them a towel to dry themselves so they don't catch a cold. She practically dragged the two out and started to ruffle their heads with the towel to dry them quicker. Once Natsuki and Sayori changed their clothes they helped the other two girls to take out a small folding table and chairs to set the food on and have lunch. Natsuki had prepared some really tasty meals that everyone liked. The afternoon rolled out and soon the moon was coming up and the sun was setting down.

Yuri felt a little nostalgic. She remembered how Natsuki invited her to view the sunset together after school and they have been doing so since then. It was a wonderful way to end the school day. It was something very special to her. For a while Yuri sat alone in the grass, just staring at it. But soon enough she felt a body next to hers. She glanced quickly to see who it was. It was Natsuki. The girl she had mixed feelings about. Even though she thought and said they were mixed, deep down she had already confirmed that she liked the girl a lot.

 _"Hey, do you think it will be a starless night tonight?"_ The pink haired girl spoke.

 _"I hope not."_  Yuri replied. Because she had an idea, and for that idea, she needed the night and its stars. She remembered back at the school festival Natsuki said she wanted to go stargazing. Yuri took the chance that they were outside to make Natsuki's wish come true.

Soon the sun had set down completely and the girls were tucked in their sleeping bags. Sayori was the first to fall asleep. Soon Monika was dreaming too. Natsuki wasn't the type to fall asleep fast, but eventually, she lost consciousness as well. Only Yuri was left. But she couldn't sleep. She didn't want to sleep. She patiently waited for the perfect moment. And she didn't wait long. After around thirty minutes, she reached out to Natsuki's cheek and gently rubbed it. The girl started to furrow her brows and at last opened her sleepy eyes. She was tired, but she managed to look at Yuri, who was making a sigh for the other girl to keep quiet. Natsuki nodded. Yuri slowly got up and put her shoes and jacket on. She made another sigh with her hand as an invitation for the other girl to do the same and exited the tent. Natsuki put her shoes on as well and followed behind. As she stood up next to the tall purple haired girl, she quietly asked.

_"Why did you wake me up?"_

_"I want to show you something. Come with me."_

Natsuki nodded again and followed Yuri. While they were walking, the short girl was lightly gripping on the girl's jacket sleeve. Yuri, of course, noticed that. It made her smile. She knew Natsuki didn't like the dark very much and getting lost in the forest at night didn't sound like the best scenario.

_"Do you know where you are leading us?"_

_"Probably."_

_"That isn't an answer! What if we get lost?!"_  Her grip became tighter.

 _"Don't worry, it will be okay."_ Yuri hoped these words would calm Natsuki. They walked in the forest for about ten more minutes before reaching a hill. It was covered in grass and on top of it there were a few big rocks that the girls decided to sit on. Natsuki sat next to Yuri. She looked a little sleepy.

 _"So, what are we doing here?"_  She asked in a soft voice.

 _"Look up."_ The purple haired girl said, pointing her finger at the sky above them. Natsuki slowly lifted her head, and soon all the sleepiness in her eyes disappeared and was replaced with amazement. Her eyes were wide, staring at the dark blue night sky, covered with million small white stars, which reflected in her eyes. As she gazed upon the beautiful view, Yuri was losing herself in the girl's dreamy eyes. To Yuri, the night sky was a very familiar sight. She often looked up to it whenever she thought about things for too long or whenever she was lonely and the stars were keeping her company. But now, she wasn't alone. For a while, both didn't say anything. But soon Natsuki felt Yuri's gaze on her and she came back from the trance she was in. Her cheeks became bright pink as she stared back at the girl next to her. To Yuri's surprise, she didn't avert her eyes, she just looked at her.

_"Say, why did you take me here? I think the others would have liked this view too...but why me?"_

_"Do you not remember? Back at the school's club festival, when we were visiting the astronomy club you said you want to go see the stars someday. Today is 'someday'."_ The girl gave Natsuki a warm smile.

_"You... actually remember...that?"_

_"Yes, why wouldn't I?"_

_"Because... Usually, nobody cares what I say, what I want, what I like, what I dislike. Usually, I don't matter to people. I don't matter to anyone. But you..."_

Natsuki's head dropped and her gaze was now staring down at the ground with teary eyes. She curled her lips and tried not to let that one small tear slide down her cheek. Yuri felt awful. She wanted to make Natsuki smile and feel better, but instead, she made her cry.

 _"I what...?"_ She asked in a shaky voice.

_"You... remember. You remember everything I say and I do, even this... Why? Why would you go through all this trouble to remember? Why would you spend your time with me? Why would you show this to me and not to everyone? Why are you so kind? I never did anything to deserve it! I'm awful, mean, I always argued with you over things! Yet you still...Why?"_

Natsuki's voice was shaking. She was on the verge of tears. Yuri didn't expect this. She expected this moment to be perfect. She expected to see Natsuki's dreamy gaze, her dazzling smile, she expected the girl to look happy and overwhelmed with joy. But why was she crying? What triggered this emotion in her? Yuri felt awful at this moment. She didn't know what to do. She just sat there, stunned at what was happening in front of her. She thought this would be the perfect situation to confess her feelings. She thought it would be like in a book - her first kiss, with the person she loved the most, under the moonlight, surrounded by the millions of stars, the breeze gently rubbing their blushed cheeks. But nothing of this happened. The perfect moment didn't happen.

_'Why did I even think it would happen? It never works the way I want to. It's never what I want. In the end, everything I want, all the effort I put in it, it always comes crumbling down at my feet. Why?! Why can't I finally let those feelings out? Why is fate stopping me?'_

Yuri was on the verge of tears too. It was so tiring, it was tearing her apart. Those feelings that she suppressed so long and so hard, to not scare or confuse the girl. She wanted to let them out so bad, that her heart took over her mind. At this very moment, she slowly got up and went in front of Natsuki. The girl's eyes were wet and red. Yuri's eyes were tearing up too. As she stood up, the pink haired girl slowly lifted her head to look up to the tall girl in front of her.

_"Because you are always looking down where it's sad and lonely, but my eyes and the happy sunny sky are up here."_

As she said those words, Natsuki didn't have enough time to react or respond, before warm and pink lips quickly inched their way to press themselves on her own. Yuri closed her eyes. She was afraid. Afraid of the emotion on Natsuki's face. Afraid of the hurtful words that may come out of her mouth. But she felt relieved. She finally did what she wanted to do. It wasn't all of it. But she felt like that was enough to express it all. Those words alone were enough.

After a few seconds, she slowly withdrew her face from Natsuki's. She didn't want to open her eyes. She wanted to keep them closed and pretend it's a dream. Because it felt like one. Because after everything that has happened, there was no way life would give her a happy ending. But the girl's lips felt so warm, so real, that she didn't know if she really wanted it to be a dream. Eventually, curiosity took over her and she opened her eyes. There, right in front of her, she saw Natsuki. Her flushed cheeks, her pink lips, her glossy bring eyes that were staring at her, hands on her lap, clenched into tight fists. Yuri swallowed. She expected her to run, to scream, to curse and insult her. She was ready for it. She could almost feel and hear the words in her head. Cold sweat covered her hands. But nothing happened. The girls just stood there, silence enveloping them.

_'Why? Why aren't you mad? Why aren't you screaming? Why aren't you trying to run away? Why are you just standing there? Why?! Please get mad! Please do something! Just don't make me endure this silence anymore!'_

_"I'm...sorry..."_  Is what came out of her mouth. These words alone. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what was the right thing to do. She acted the way she felt. She listened to her heart. And now what? What was supposed to happen next? Suddenly, the girl that was sitting on the rock finally spoke in a quiet tone.

_"Why are you apologizing? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS APOLOGIZING?! YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG! YOU ALWAYS SMILED AND LAUGHED WITH ME, YOU CHEERED ME UP, YOU MADE ME FEEL HAPPY AND WANTED, YOU TOOK CARE OF ME, YOU ACCEPTED ME, YOU SAW THE WORST OF ME AND YET YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME! YOU DID NOTHING WRONG...the only thing you did wrong was make my heart beat like this...the only thing you did wrong was make me suppress my feelings all this time...the only thing you did wrong was make me wait for so long..."_

Yuri was in shock. The girl was now holding her by the shoulders, sobbing, after letting all of this finally out. Yuri was so touched, so delighted to hear that, she didn't know how to react. She didn't know, but her loving heart and arms knew. She reached out to Natsuki and pulled her in a gentle, yet tight embrace. She continued to sob. Yuri's eyes teared up too. She has never felt happier in her life. Neither hers, neither Natsuki's confessions had the right sentences in them, but both of them knew what the other meant.

_"I love you, Natsuki. Will you be with me, forever?"_

The girl didn't answer, but Yuri felt her nodding in her chest. It tickled a bit. After parting away, they gently wiped each other's tears and went back.

~~~

The morning came and it was time to go back home. The atmosphere between Natsuki and Yuri was full of tension and anxiety. They were nervous. Yuri couldn't wait to finally feel Natsuki. She wanted the girl to trust her, she wanted the girl to accept her, to feel the hot burning passion, to deepen the bond between them. Her hands were trembling as she struggled to open the front door and let the two girls in. Both dropped their bags on the floor and as soon as the tall girl locked the door, Natsuki embraced her. She had to lift herself on her toes to reach her girlfriend's lips, but it wasn't big deal. The kiss was long, passionate and enjoyable. As their lips parted, Natsuki guided them to the bedroom. She fell on the bedsheets, pulling Yuri on top of her, their eyes locked at each other. Yuri swallowed.

 _"Can I?"_ She asked. Her hands were trembling. Natsuki nodded, and eventually, all their clothes fell off. They enveloped each other in their passionate and pure love.

When they woke up, they found their hands engaged together. It was the best feeling in the world - to have your loved one nearby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was good while it lasted folks. Until we meet again

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If I have made a mistake, please let me know! Leave a Kudo if you liked it and I await the next one!  
> Until next time~


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